Fall Down, Go Boom

Being in a hurry doesn't do anyone any good. Watch where you're going. Pick up your feet. All three wise statements I'm sure I've been told numerous times in my life. And yesterday would've been a good time to adhere to these three pieces of advice- all at once, too.

I was in a hurry. I needed to run into the apartment really quickly to drop something off, pee, then leave again. I parked in front of the building instead of in my usual parking space.

And I fell down.

Ugh.

The first thing I wanted to do was jump up and look around and make sure no one saw me except for Mac, who was with me. But some how in trying to get up quickly, I fell back over.

Somehow I became a turtle. Laying in the grass and sidewalk, on my back, and I couldn't get up. Well, shit.

I was rushing, I was scuffling along in a pair of shoes that fit when I bought them but are a bit stretched after so much wear so they slide around so I wasn't picking up my feet, and I tripped stepping up over the curb and fell down. Then didn't get my feet under me in my haste to stand back up and down I went again.

I have a skinned knee- like bleeding skinned, skinned palms, and a very sore elbow. Oh yeah, I'm 43 years old with a skinned knee. I felt like an idiot.

Mac was all "Mom, are you okay? Mom, let me help you up. Mom, what the hell happened?" He said one minute I was up and the next minute I was a turtle on its back. And I am so glad he went with concern instead of a laugh.

I want to make only one feeble excuse in my defense- a very feeble excuse- the curb is exceptionally high in that spot, where I was stepping up. Instead of being a few inches off the ground like a normal curb, it's about 18 inches, like a high stair step. Yup... lame excuse...

Thankfully I didn't land in dog poop, though I was covered in grass because the lawn had just been cut and no one bags the clippings. But no poop! Other good things- I didn't rip my pants. I have no idea how I managed to skin my knee but not rip my jeans- thank you Fall Down Go Boom Gods for that small favor. I was wearing my favorite jeans! It seemed that no one saw me go splat other than Mac. Ego not as bruised as it could've been because normally our apartment complex has kids outside running around, and LOTS of porch sitters. I have no idea where everyone was at but I was glad they were NOT outside!

And I used a really cool Spiderman band-aid on my knee.

Maggie

And the reason for being mean is???????

I'm still yammering about the relationship shit. That officially what I'm calling it.

What I don't understand is why are people mean to each other to an extreme in a fight? Or when a relationship is ending?  Say there's no one having an affair, and no one is physically/ mentally/ emotionally/ verbally abusing each other. No one is committing crimes.

Say, in the relationship someone is hurt, or one person just doesn't to be in the relationship any more. Maybe they grew apart or fallen out of love or don't share the same goals and dreams. Maybe it just ISN'T WORKING. There are no kids involved, no property to divide, or assets to split, no living together, no joint purchases.

These are 2 people who love(d) each other so why are people so mean. Why is there yelling or name calling? Why is there a fight?

Seriously, if these 2 people loved each other once. If you love them and want to best for them then why hurt each other? And though one person may not WANT it to be over, if you love the other then wouldn't you want them to be happy? And if being out of the relationship makes them happy, then let them go without an ugly scene.

Maybe everyone can't be friends later. Who cares? There's no reason for mean and ugliness. Just let it be over. Move on. My guess both parties are hurting. My guess ending it isn't easy for anyone. Make it easy. If people love each other why hurt each other? Why make each other miserable? Why not have some mutual respect for decisions that are being made even if they're not what everyone wants?!?

And this is why I'm dreading this whole relationship ending debacle.

Maggie

And in this corner...

Well, there was another fight at Alcatraz today! This time it was a very large African American boy and a very large Caucasian boy. Beating the crap outta each other right outside my classroom door during passing period. I point out the race of each boy because the fight was... racial. White kid called black kid a name and BAM!

The problem was that they were big guys and they were really going at it. Classes for the day hadn't yet started. Another teacher and I started to pull them apart but it was obvious this was a fist fight and she and I weren't going to be able to separate them without getting hurt ourselves. Some of the other boys around wanted to get into it as well and I had a hold on two boys and kept elbow checking a third one who was sort of behind me, between me and the door jamb. As the two guys rolled around on the floor beating the hell out of each other, we yelled for help and two house parents and the principal came running. It was just one of those super fluky instances where the only adults in the immediate vicinity were women.

When the 3 adult males got there, everything seemed to happen super fast. They were on top of the boys pinning them down and holding them down, all a tangle of splayed arms and legs. Then a 4th adult showed up and 2 adults took one boy one direction and the other 2 took the other kid the other way. In the middle of it all, one of the adult guys got punched in the eye. When I saw him after school his eye was black and blue, and hugely swollen.

It took awhile to settle the boys for class. They were all fired up, and then were snarky with each other. I didn't have much patience with them, either, which isn't their faults entirely.

Guess it's just another day in the life of teaching at Alcatraz...

Mags

Add it to the list of icky sounds

So, yesterday at lunch, I was was sitting with some faculty. Notice, I said I was sitting with them, not having lunch with them. It was all men, they've all known each other for a LONG time so I was just eating near them so I didn't look pathetic sitting at a table alone. AND they did ask me to join them, so I did. But teacher"cliques" is a post for another day.

Oh, and I should also say that the kids at this "prison school" where I'm teaching eat with their house parents and the other kids in their house, each house assigned to one table area. The kids can't mix with other kids. Furthermore, boys and girls are separated. So the cafeteria is gigantic with the north end full of boy tables, the middle with staff and faculty, and the south end full of the girl's tables. And houses can have anywhere from 6-15 kids. So the ratio is about that many kids to two house parents per table.

So I'm sitting there in the middle, when a boy's table, straight across from me, I don't even have to turn my head to see anything, it's right IN FRONT OF ME, has a "situation". What I see is one boy abruptly stand up, with his chair flying out behind him as he yells at another kid sitting across from him, "You fucking want a piece of me?"

Apparently the kid being yelled at, must have made a remark that made the standing kid even more angry because he drew back his fist and PUNCHED the sitting kid in the face.

It made a loud thwacking sound, like punching a watermelon really hard. (Like the dude who used to kick watermelons in the Ginsu knife commercials? You remember that sound?) And sickening flesh upon flesh smacking smushy icky sound. The kid hit him. Really, he just punched him right in the face, reaching over the dinner table full of tray of ribs and scalloped potatoes, he smucked the other boy in the face!! At lunch! Damn heathens.

And know what? Most kids didn't even see it happen, most adults didn't pay attention, the kids at that table scooted back from the table, holding their food trays and eating and watching. Kids at the surrounding tables were watching and still carrying on conversations. The house parents were moving and holding back the hitter and the nurse came over to collect the hitee, who had blood gushing down his face. Did I mention lunch was BBQ rib sandwiches?

I don't think I've heard seen and heard someone hit someone else like that. Or at least make that sort of sound when it happened. And to have a room full of people barely flinch. It's scary to find out what can become "the norm".

Oh, and I didn't finish my lunch,
Maggie

the first dentist story

I have decided the up side of the dentist is that he gives good drugs. I loved the nitrous oxide. I haven't been high like that in YEARS and this was far better than any weed I ever smoked way back in the day.

Now that being said, one procedure down and several more to go. Curley went with me for moral support (thank you so very much!!!!!) and Mac drove us so it was nice to have my support system there.

I took a Xanax a few minutes before I got there but I'm not sure it helped. The dentist was very nice and kind. I know he gave 5 injections of Novocaine but I had my eyes shut so I didn't see anything. He just told me later. I also listened to my iPod to block most of the noise.

Afterward, I was pretty out of it and by the time we got home I took a Vicodin and went to bed. On the ride home I dozed a bit, and Mac made fun of me since I was so numb; he wanted me to say words with lots of "R"s in them since I was numb and sounded funny. Or he at least thought it was funny.

After a nap I just was resting around the house. My mouth is pretty sore and hurts but I took some Motrin and it takes the edge off.

So, all in all, I did survive, and I'm headed back to school tomorrow. Gotta save those sick days for the next couple dental procedures.

I just feel icky and achy, but okay.

Thanks for all the good thoughts, happy wishes, positive energy, and prayers! Ya'll rock!

Maggie Mae

PS- and I'll be doing some catching up on blog reading this weekend. I'm sorry I haven't been around this week; it's been a long and stressful this week.

Nothing worse than a toothache

I broke a tooth awhile ago and then the whole side of my mouth started hurting AND then this week it swelled up. And have been dragging my feet about having it all fixed. I hate to go to the dentist. It scares me to death. Seriously, scares me more than just about anything I can think of. That's why it's been years since I've gone. I had a bad experience as a child, and I just hate going.

I'm not going into my horror stories because 1) if you hate to go to the dentist I don't want to feed your fears either; and, 2) I don't want to hear your horror dental stories to make my fears worse.

Of course, it hurts like hell so I had an emergency dentist appointment. Mac said he would take me since, he said, "I was his responsibility." He was brave and strong for me, even though his mother was a wuss and was on the verge of tears and my hands shook like I was going through withdrawals. At age 38 I still cry when I go. Even when my rational intelligent brain works I still cannot over come the fear. But he did use his own money to take me to breakfast afterward since I was brave and didn't cry.

So I went to the dentist on Friday. (What a crappy way to spend the snow day, BTW. )

Well, I survived. But, I will be going back many times in the future. But my dentist today, a new one since I haven't gone since I moved back here, is super nice and she was so kind and gentle. Her nurse was also amazing and she knows I had dentalphobia (Curley made my appointment for me since I was so upset I couldn't even talk on the phone and she warned them I was almost hysterical). The nurse held my hand and explained everything that was going to happen today, took my x-rays and did the pre-exams. Then she gave me a hug. i met with the dentist who read the x-ray, explained everything and looked at my mouth too.

I have an infection due to a tooth with "issues" inside the tooth and it's not even the broken one! That tooth is going to have a root canal next Thursday and I have to see a specialist to do that who is going to sedate me for the procedure. Then I have to go back to my dentist (Dr Nice Person) and she'll put a crown on it. The broken tooth is a wisdom tooth and in 2 weeks I'll be seeing a dental surgeon who will be doing an extraction while I am also under sedation. I have a prescription to clear up the infection and she gave me Vicodin. It's going to be a long two weeks- prepare for whining.

It is also going to be expensive. I have no dental insurance so after all the stuff that's going to happen it'll cost me about $2500. That so sucks. I know I'll feel better and I have been freaked out about this for a long time so I know mentally I'll feel better as well as physically and mouth-wise, too. But my wallet is going to take a smack, for sure. My own fault, I know, but it still hurts in so many ways. This is going to just kill my tax return plus some; so much for going back to Europe this summer, damn it.

So there you have it. My dental experience, part 1. I probably won't blog on Thursday unless I do it before hand. And I won't be sharing my horror stories because it will be gross, and because I don't want to hear anyone else's. Send good thoughts to me, please. Even if I don't deserve them.

Chicken little,
Maggie

Satchels & Shoes: The Replacements

I have a favorite pair of shoes that I love to wear in the fall/ spring/ winter time. They're lace up brown loafers with a chunky heel. I've had them for about... 10 years. The leather is cracked, the laces have been replaced so many times I've lost count, I had to put in Dr. Scholls Magellan Gellin' insoles in many times, and now the sole has a hole- the sort that if I step in a puddle or walk through damp grass I shall have to endure a wet sock for the duration. So these shoes should be retired.

Well, last spring, I did get a replacement pair. And I was excited because they were so close to my favorite shoe. I wore the replacement pair around for a few days, deemed them worthy, but I couldn't get rid of the old pair; I just bequeathed them space in the rear of my closet. Then I wore the replacements to Ireland. And I got blisters. I didn't get a little tiny baby blister but the sort of blister that... COVERED THE ENTIRE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT!!!!!!!!!!! On BOTH feet- 1 on each heel and one on each 'ball' of my feet. And on the tops of my toes and the side of each pinky toe and on the back heel of my left foot. (These blisters actually left a sort of weird type of scarring on the bottoms of my feet in the form of discoloration of the skin in the blister shaped pattern that remains today) I was in utter misery because this happened on the first day of my trip to Dublin. I never wore the shoes again. I have no idea why I even lugged the bastards home from Europe because when I got here, I showed Daddy-O my feet, bought blister pads, and threw the offending footwear in the nearest Dumpster- And yes, I'm sure there was some starving person to whom I could've given these shoes but I would've felt terrible if my charity shoes ruined someone else's feet- what if I cursed them? Here's a picture of the offenders!

Okay, so today Daddy-O and I went shopping and lo- and behold- I got another replacement pair for the replacements. And these are Sketchers, which is what I should've bought in the first place rather then the cheap knock offs that about made my feet fall off- literally! I love love love my Sketcher tennise shoes so if these are even one tenth as comfortable and don't leave blisters, then they could be the perfect pair of casual shoes!

So there they are: the NEW replacements, part deux. And a cute green Nine & Co. bag.

In Shoes We Trust,
Maggie

Can feet actually fall off the body from overuse?

Can they? Not because of gangrene or anything disease ridden, but just... plunk, plop, right off?

I stood on my poor old dogs on Saturday from noon until 11:30 pm; I sat for 10 minutes in that entire time. I opened and closed the ice cream parlor. Then I did it again on Sunday, and I think I sat for about 30 minutes. Same time frame.

Saturday when I got home, I had "cankles"- this is the phenomenon where your ankles swell up so you can't tell the difference between your calf and your ankle. And I wore shortie tennis socks and when I pulled them off, I felt like I got burned. Well, my ankles swelled so much the sock was embedded into my skin and when removed it was like rug burn. The mark was still there on Sunday morning.

I could literally see my heartbeat in the soles of my feet after that work day.

And I have what is equivalent to pitcher's elbow or shoulder or whatever... Which has nothing to do with feet, but I just wanted to point it out, nonetheless.

And when I rubbed my feet I cried. It was the definition, true definition, of "Hurt so Good." That had to be what Mellencamp was crooning about- sore feet finally being rubbed. And once I rubbed them and cried over them, they itched like crazy. Something with blood circulation? I have no idea.

I just wonder if I'll wake up in the next day or two and find that my feet abandoned me for abuse, that they just off and run away without the rest of me. Who could blame them after the poor treatment?

In the "dog" house,
Mags

Whazup with Sam and me

We're okay. The last few weeks since I got home from Dublin, things have been tense between us; we were off kilter and outta whack. We couldn't seem to find our groove; we hardly talked.

So being an emotional female I panicked. If I was thinking with my heart I figured he was being distant and giving me the brush off. Something wasn't as good for him as it was me and he didn't want to hurt my feelings so he didn't call, was short tempered, angry and was smarmy.

Now, if I was thinking with my brain I would realize that since I left he had the flu which irritated his asthma. He was also under tremendous work strain because he was told they were going to probably cut his job before the beginning of April. So he went to work daily with the flu and it turned into pneumonia. Then his CEO in San Fran flew in and while he didn't lose his job or have to take a pay cut, he did get demoted and a whole bunch of other folk were laid off. So now instead of being a VP of International Sales he's a trainer. And then he had to learn all the software had had to train people on and then create 10 hour workshops which last three days on material he's never looked at, let alone used. And then he had to go to the Netherlands for his first training. Then he had to come back to Dublin and do another training over more material he had never seen before- same time frame. ALL of this happened between when I left and now.

So I would push about when I would get to see him, he would be grumpy and nasty because he didn't know when. I would push and he would pull. When nothing was said about the next visit and he was in a bad mood he would take his work shit and his lack of good health shit out on me and that caused a mild unpleasantness for all parties.

Last night when he called he said he was thinking about telling me he didn't need more stress and as much as he loved me and hated his job he thought we should end this now because it was too stressful. Then he said he thought that would be stupid because we had the potential for something amazing and he spilled us guts about everything- his baggage of his ex wife, comments I made that would cause him stress, his family, religion,. work... you name it and he covered it all. he also didn't place blame fully on me- he outlined his own "issues" and explained he knew what his hot buttons were and that those things weren't me. Then he wanted me to talk and we did.

The bottom line: Communication scored BIG. We basically plowed through this together and talked. It was amazing. And enlightening. For example, it drove me nuts that he never said he missed me, so I just thought he didn't miss me. I told him this. Well, it seems when he was married and traveled and told his ex wife he missed her (back when she was a wife) she would reiterrate with screaming at him to come home, find another job without travel, etc... so he just didn't want to say it. I told him I would never do that, and that if he told me he missed me I at least knew he was thinking of me, or that he MISSED me. Point solved.

We talked and it was good. We sort of made a deal. First we are not going to hole up emotions like that which cause us to be anxious and caustic. I am not going to say one word about visiting him again over the next 2 weeks because with his newly re-arranged job he doesn't know when it will work but he's trying to figure it out- he WANTS me there now, but it doesn't work. He is going to be more free with his emotions and realize I won't bite his head off like his ex did.

And then to prove to me that he did miss me, he thought of me often throughout the day, that he didn't really want to end this at all, that he loves me more than he thought possible, that he was really sorry for hurting me... he sang to me and played the guitar. He learned a song I like and that he thought would be apropos: "Baby you can sleep while I drive."




I love this guy.
Maggie

Is Sam still employed? And the West Wing date follow up

Yes, Sam is still employed. I will spare you all the down and dirty details and all the names he called his boss- which are most certainly NOT fit to print. But be that as it all may, he still has a job and in the middle of this global depression, it's a blessing. The Boss was in his office from San Fran to Dublin on Thursday and was saccharin sweet- I can at least tell you that. His job had been restructured- more training, more sales, more travel and less management duties- Sam is not a happy camper about the last one... When I talked to him after our West Wing date, his final words about the job were: "If I call you around noon your time, then you can rest assured I punched his lights out and ordered you plane ticket- you'll be leaving Sunday." The phone call, the punch nor the ticket occurred. So, he's employed for now.

The down side of this restructuring mess is that I am now no longer going to meet him in San Fran in April. Before this, he was to be in CA for 14 days and I was going to be there for a big chunk of those. The trip is now down to 4 days, with him flying out on a red eye on Thursday so he can conduct a training in Dublin on Friday... I don't think I need to even talk about how unhappy both of us are over this whole thing. he's pissed at the company. He's also pissed at himself. I'm sad over it all, vow to not use any guilt on the man because he does it well enough on his own (He has a Jewish mother- he lived the World Series of Guilt for years!), and am mad at the company. I would say the upside is that if his training schedule works out, I'll go see him at the beginning of May and be there for his birthday! Now that would be nice...

And as for our West Wing date, it was fun. We giggled and talked through much of it and he can quote the whole thing word for word, which struck me as hilarious, for some reason. When he worked for Clinton, he told me he was really like Toby but wanted to be more like Josh with a splash of Sam<-- the character played by Rob Lowe, not MY AIISam. But he was really Toby. (Okay he really wanted to be Leo- who wouldn't want to be Leo?!?) And as I watched that episode I can totally see it. Completely- he is sooooo Toby. Ah, the things TV help you learn about those you love. BUT anyway, we talked and watched and decided to do it again. We even have another "date" episode picked out. (And we were totally impressed that we only had a 2 second lag from when we separately clicked play) And for those of you who are not familiar with the shoe, shame on you, and sorry you just wasted a bit of your life reading this paragraph that probably made no sense...

Ah, the world of Sam. At least updating you on him and how his job affects me keeps me from really talking about myself........

I'm a CJ girl myself (or is that Dr Bartlet?),
Maggie

Going out for supper...

Ever since Sam and I met in Pittsburgh, he's promised to take me out for Italian food for supper. While we were in Pitt it never happened. And since I've been in Dublin we've had Chinese, Indian, seafood, pizza, and some American- still no Italian food and I was teasing him about the omission.

Sam came home and told me he would take me out for Italian food this weekend. And I could have it as many times as I wanted because he was taking me out for supper in Milan!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! He and I are going to Italy!!!!!!!!!!!!! The country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For the entire weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We leave this afternoon and get home around midnight on Monday. Then I'm going to spend St. Patrick's Day in Dublin and fly back to the states on Wednesday.

Oh. My. Goddess. Italy. For supper. Milan. Can we say Dolce and Gabbana? Versace?

I mean, he comes home from work and says we're having Italian food for dinner- in Milan, Italy.

Okay, that being said... I really really don't think I'll be posting here or on Across the Pond for several days. I might, but I have no idea.... Italy...

Arrivederci,
Maggie

What I've been doing in Ireland

So I have huge blisters on the bottom of my feet from all the walking and not being used to it- other than that, no complaints! I was thinking of being a bum and not doing a darn thing today since I have a few more days and could run around with Sam, but I hate to lose any time. So I'm going to veg for half of the day and give my poor blistered feet and toes a little rest. I still want to see the famous jail, get my own pictures of St. Patrick's, and I feel like I should see the National Gallery since it's free... but otherwise I have done all the things a regular tourist would do- and then some!

Yesterday I toured Dublin Castle and a funny thing happened there. The tour guide just decided that I must be a good listener because by the end of the tour he was talking directly to me, ignoring everyone else, like it was a conversation rather than a guided tour. Afterward, he and I chatted and then he asked me if I wanted to get a pint, have a bit of supper and see some sights- whoot, whoot- go me! I got asked on a date in a foreign country. Of course I said no...

I also toured Christ Church yesterday, and it was beautiful. I actually toured it twice... go figure. My digital camera batteries died in the middle. I was so bummed but I finished the tour anyway, of course. At the end I asked the docent if I could re-enter if I went and bought batteries, after explaining my plight. She said of course, so I went across the way, got batteries and came back to tour it again. Thank goodness it was self guided so I could just get some of the shots I wanted!

And since Sam has been working a bit each day, I've been running around on my own so I don't have any pictures of the two of us doing anything. For whatever reason, when we go out at night, I never think to bring my camera to dinner or to the pub. But here's a picture of him after he got home from work.


I will try and do a better job of getting some of us together.

And by the way, another reason it stinks that I don't remember my camera at night? I've eaten my way through the city (and am not gaining weight but losing so the blisters don't seem as bad!) and I've had curry and real Chinese food. I also had some fancy Greek food and visited lots of pubs to partake in lots of pints- I like Bulmers, a nice cider. YUMMY! And all the restaurants garnish fancy or have lovely presentation. All of these would've been great photo ops! Where was my brain???? (Of course I'm still posting pictures as often as I can at Across the Pond) I did get one food shot:


Your woman of the world,
Maggie

IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!!!!!!!!

Hey guess what? My passport is here. I feel the love for everyone!! Whoot whoot! I've been happy dancing all day looooooooooooong!

I called and told AmericaninIreland Sam and he had my flight booked within minutes. I leave on March 5 and come back on March 15- maybe. And why is that return date a maybe? BeCAUSE Sam wants to take be on a special surprise side trip! It that comes to fruition I'd be back to Civilization on March 18. The side trip possibilities are anywhere in Italy, Vienna, London, Amsterdam or Paris. I.CAN'T. HARDLY. WAIT. No one is going to be able to stand me for 2 weeks.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soon to be world traveler,
Maggie