Pat my own back

I don't usually do this but I'm going to pat myself on my back.

I am damn good at my job. I work well with our kids who are explosive and hurt and angry and scared and mad, all at the same time. I'm good with these kids DAMN IT!!!!!!

Yesterday I broke up a girl fight, breaking up two girls, one of whom is known to be MEAN. I talked her down and got her out of the room and then stayed and talked with her while the administrators did what they had to do. By the time we got any help in the classroom where the fight broke out, I had it it sorted out. And the classroom teacher I helped- it was his room where the girls were fighting- just stood by. All the administrators had to do when they got there was administer the punishment.

I talked to the girl and found out all that was wrong and she cried and spilled. Then she talked- calmly- to the assistant principal, who she hates, and got it together. Funny, it occurred to me that my school has all men as administrators.

Look, I'm good in the library and I'm good at my job there. I like and respect these kids. I like working in education. I will go above and beyond the call for my school. I don't know what it is but these kids click with me and I like them as well. I'm a good to person in my building and I have a good attitude. I don't take crap from the kids but I get where they're coming from. I respect them and i have high expectations.

But I'm tired. I can't get full time hours. I can't get descent money. I am so very happy that they all like me and think I do a good job. I would be a damn good case manager and have been told that by people in power positions but I don't have the right degree. I don't have the right degree to teach or be an administrator. I have the right degree to do nothing.

I'm frustrated and mad. I am GOOD at this. I can't afford to go back to school. I can't afford rent or groceries let alone more school. I can't afford to get a car payment let alone another school loan. I'm tired, I'm angry, and I've had it.

I've found what I need to do but I can't make a living.

I'm sick of looking for a job. I'm tired of watching people hate being in education, hating our kids, bitching all the time about their jobs when they have no clue, of people not doing their damn jobs and I KNOW I could do this far better than at least half of the folks there. This sucks sucks sucks and it's not fair. I'm sick of looking for a new job, of being the new kid on the block all the time, sick of no money, or re-learning, of being at the bottom.

I want to stay home and do nothing and hide from the world. I want to work in a bakery and be the pastry decorator, hiding in the back, dealing with no people and just frosting cake after cake and not being in charge of shit or talking to people. I want to arrange flowers. Show me how and stick me in the back room at the florist and I'll just do arrangement after arrangement. Because I just can't cope with people telling me how great I am, how much they love me, how much I'm appreciated, but "gee I'm sorry we don't have a full time spot for you because you don't have the right ___________(fill in the damn blank)." I don't want to work with people and like it. I want to be regulated to the back of the bus, doing behind the scenes work. Give me a job where I don't have a chance to shine or be good or stand out and let me just do what I'm told, assembly line, rote work.

Screw careers.
Maggie

I had to explain...

...to the campus pastor why I compared King Herod to Al Capone.

See I was explaining why King Herod wanted to kill the baby Jesus and why the Wise Men were 12 days late getting to the manger, and it had nothing to do with the North Star being a crappy GPS.

Okay, so ya see, I told students King Herod was a bad gangster guy like Al Capone, and that he wanted to kill the baby. He sent his goons after the baby but the goons weren't very smart so they followed the Wise Men. The Wise Men were called "Wise Men" for a reason and they knew the goons were behind them so they went in circles for 12 days to shake 'em off their tail so they could see the baby Jesus and not be the ones who led the hit squad straight to him; that would be a real blemish on their records and I think they could no longer be called Wise.

And this is why we have Epiphany.

Made total sense to me, and the students, at the time...

Maybe I should I write a new version of the Bible? Or maybe not...

Maggie

Burnt Toast Meme, Part II

I didn't do part one of the meme but here's part two... just in case you wanted to know something else about me that you didn't already know! And thanks to Sunday Stealing and honor among thieves and all that rot...

17. Who would you like to show up at your door to say they love you?
Johnny Depp

18. Last furry thing you touched?
I pet Photographer's dog, Lola just today

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
booze on Friday night and caffeine every day

20. Do you miss film or does digital work for you?
digital is fine

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
I don't have a favorite

22. Your worst enemy?
fat cells

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Johnny Depp at home and the Divine Ms K at work

24. What was the last thing you said that was funny?
"Remember to remove the eggs from their shells."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
million bucks, of course

26. Who can't you say “no” to?
just about anyone

27. The last song you bought or downloaded?
I bought a Lady Gaga CD yesterday- The Fame

28. What time of day were you born?
the time when I was ready

29. What’s your favorite number? Why?
Seven because it's a little higher but still in the middle

30. Where did you live in 1987?
Here in Civilization

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
yep

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
nope

33. It's been almost a decade. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Standing on a college campus, getting ready to take a class toward my master's. I was on my cell phone, fighting with my boyfriend of five years who was dumping me. I was also listening to the radio, to Bob & Tom and they started announcing it. I hung up on BF and stood in the parking lot with my door open and radio on. Everybody in the parking lot was doing the same thing- all of us standing out there with the doors open and radios on. Then is was like a mad rush to buildings. When we arrived tvs were on in classrooms and hallways and knots of people were standing around all over the place in utter silence, just watching, having spilled out of offices, clumped together.

Party Like a Rock Star... an Old Rock Star

I have a perfectly legit reason for not blogging yesterday. I was out until 3 am. Yes, me, out until 3 am. I didn't think I could do that anymore but I did. Damn...

ITSam and I dropped books off at my favorite used book store and I acquire some more for the school library. While there we met some cat who ended up giving me his business card because I was looking for the entire Michael Buble set of cds and he says he has over 4, 200 CDs and if I email him he'll give me HIS set. More on that in a later post!

Then he and I got some of my favorite cupcakes (tomorrow's post!) and grabbed dinner.

After dinner we decided we really weren't ready to go home. We thought we'd go somewhere to hear some music. Now neither of us were dressed for a club scene nor we were appareled correctly for a nice jazz club. So I agreed, with reticence, to go to a country bar he knew about. He said we could sit in a back booth, chill out, have a few drinks and maybe take a spin or two around the dance floor.

We arrived, parked, paid our cover and then learned there was no country music that night. My first thought was "yay!" until I heard the band. A classic rock band. That covered Poison, Scorpion, Ratt,, etc. Not even the "good" sort of classic rock. I was wishing for country.

But as not to be a killjoy I put my best foot forward, chugged a couple beers and sat back to people watch. Oh my god. It was... surreal. I was wishing I had my camera. You know that web site about the scary looking people at Wal-Mart? Well, I think this bar was where they came to socialize.

There was a woman who had to be in her mid 50s. She was UGLY! She hit every branch on the way down as she fell from the ugly tree! She was also way overly tan. And her body, while sorta skinny-ish, was droopy. And she had this ugly light brown hair all pulled back into a ponytail and then added one of those long extensions so it looked like it went to her butt. Only the extension was a white blonde color. No it didn't match her real color. And she wore blue eye shadow and orange frosted lipstick right out of the 1980s. She also wore skinny jeans, black, with a studded belt. Studded as in goth not in Harley Davidson. And the worse this shirt thing. It was red and lacy and looked of like a negligee. It had a diving neck line and itty-bitty spaghetti straps. Did I mention she was in her mid 50s and her boobs were droopy and she wasn't wearing a bra??

Sam and I decided when her boobs fell out we were leaving.

She would dance and sway alone on the dance floor with one flimsy strap of that top off her shoulder and she would jiggle, with her eyes closed. she was drunk off her ass and couldn't walk a straight line. It was unreal. I can't remember ever seeing anything like that before. Ever.

We left before her boobs hit the floor but it was close. She did manage to take off her shoes and dance alone on the dance floor and once in awhile she perked up and sort of strutted like Mick Jagger.

Other things that were strange were fashions. The 80s are definitely in. There were tons of girls with ripped and holey jeans. Lots of ripped shirts dangling of shoulders- hello Flashdance called and would like her shirt back. One woman who was about 50 wore heels and pants that were totally from the end scene in Grease. And she too was unattractive. And then there was the woman and her friends and she was the one with no style. She had on "mom pants" and tennis shoes. She had on a t-shirt that was Tye-dyed. And she carried a Vera Bradley purse- one of the huge patterned soccer mom totes. Sam said nothing screams "I'm having my period and am old" like that look. Then there were the 2 couples who looked like they came from church....

Then there was the guy in the wheel chair who "danced" and was wearing dirty ripped sweat pants and a t-shirt he had ripped from under the arms to his waist and the young skinny crack whore looking chick who straddled him and bounced up and down on his lap while he buried his face in her non-existent boobs. Hello, Forrest Gump called and is looking for Lieutenant Dan.

The crowd was older. I was expecting it to be young. Well, was I wrong. It was a mixed, eclectic bag of folks but mostly it was older people. They were about my age and up, but mostly up. And dressed outrageously. And behaved outrageously.

Sam and I actually saw people we knew and while they were dressed appropriately they were pretty outrageous as well. I was sort of ashamed at their behavior.

The band made me laugh. They really all wanted to be Bret Michaels. They all wore torn jeans, tight jeans. And no shirts but leather vests. And had long, stick straight white blond hair. And they were old. they were my age or older, mostly older.

After we left we still didn't have enough night life so we tried one more country bar. They actually played country music and we danced and two-stepped. We had a few drinks and laughed and danced and sang.

I got home at 3am.

It was an awesomely fun time.

I can wait to do it again....

Maggie

Worthless Layabout that I am

I feel almost sinful for what I did last night. The only thing that would've made it better is if someone would've let me eat an entire pan of gooey brownies.

I got home from work/ school at 4pm. I put on my jammies and sat on my butt on the couch. Daddy-O and Mac fixed an early supper, which I ate. And I didn't even offer to help clean up and I didn't feel guilty about it either (though I did fill the dishwasher before Daddy-O cooked...)

I went back to the couch and finished Mac's FAFSA. Then I watched movies and read email and played Boggle on my phone.

ITSam came over and we watched a movie and then he left and I went to bed.

I was a complete bum who put on pj's at 4pm. And I really don't care.

I feel like I've been going 3000 miles an hour for the last month. I've physically felt like poop, completely wiped out. I've done two jobs the last 4 days and then had my big program for the Mardi Gras party. Add all the personal stuff like FAFSA, broken cars, Princess, money, taxes and just life, it's been a VERY STRESSFUL time. I told Daddy-O it was a good thing I lived with him (and respected him enough to not drink like a fish in his h0use) or I would've become an alcoholic in the last several months due to stress.

Last night's veg out session was awesome and I plan on doing a few more of those in the upcoming weeks.

Mags

Sometimes it's not all about the benjamins

Though I could use a job with more money and some benefits I have to say that I work in a place where my school administrators (and some other folks) are not stingy with praise.

Yesterday I hosted a little Mardi Gras party at school; to make it educational I gave a Christian perspective of Mardi Gras (since we're a faith based facility) and fed the kids King Cake. My administrators came in to hear the program and both sent me a nice email thanking me for all my work and exclaiming on what a great job I did.

I attended a School Board Meeting last night to show my support to my administration for a very ugly school politics situation and this morning I had an email thanking me for my support.

I heard from them about liking my newsletter I made for the library.

They aren't the type to "over kill" with praise but they recognize when someone goes out of the way to do something extra and I do appreciate that so much. The last two places I worked did not have administrators who did this. The last school the administrators barely could remember my name let alone recognize anything "extra" I did.

This is a lovely change of pace.

Some of my colleagues are also nice like this. I get notes or emails or just verbal praise or thanks from secretaries or fellow teachers. It's nice to know they realize I'm trying to do SOMETHING good for the students. Even though I make $8 an hour and am considered part time.

And while singing praise on people, I have to say the students in my school completely rocked yesterday. I gave the presentation and the kids sat quietly and were attentive (or faked it really well.). None of them were out of line about Mardi Gras/ beads/ boobs/ booze; they were very school appropriate with their questions and comments. They said "thank you" for the donuts and the programs. They were enthusiastic and engaged. They cleaned up their own messes and pushed in chairs before they left the library. They complimented me on all the decorations. I'm just saying that while my school population are considered "criminals" they were dang nice criminals yesterday. I had contact with the entire student body yesterday and it was an excellent positive experience. I was very impressed with our students.

Sometimes the "atta boys" are just the perk-me-up and reminder that I need to keep doing what I do, whether they come from the students or adults!

Maggie

Random Tuesday musings

Just because I love Johnny Depp doesn't mean I want to sit through Rango.

I'm almost 40 and I have zits on my forehead. A complete "you've got to be kidding" moment.

I wish I could wear a pencil skirt.

Gwyneth Paltrow is amazing, and I enjoy her in everything, including Glee!

I downloaded the Boggle app on my phone and I'm becoming addicted. I was thinking that tomorrow's lunch at school is disgusting so I was going to just sit in my library and play Boggle. I might need therapy.

There's a barber shop where the stylists dress like a Hooter's waitress to cut hair. The walls are covered in huge flat screen tvs that play sports over and over. The haircuts are about $30. You've got to be kidding- again.

Alcatraz is going to an all year round school schedule the next school year. So much for summers off- which I think is a GOOD thing. I'll let you know the details as they are forthcoming.

Randomly yours,
Maggie