I had to explain...

...to the campus pastor why I compared King Herod to Al Capone.

See I was explaining why King Herod wanted to kill the baby Jesus and why the Wise Men were 12 days late getting to the manger, and it had nothing to do with the North Star being a crappy GPS.

Okay, so ya see, I told students King Herod was a bad gangster guy like Al Capone, and that he wanted to kill the baby. He sent his goons after the baby but the goons weren't very smart so they followed the Wise Men. The Wise Men were called "Wise Men" for a reason and they knew the goons were behind them so they went in circles for 12 days to shake 'em off their tail so they could see the baby Jesus and not be the ones who led the hit squad straight to him; that would be a real blemish on their records and I think they could no longer be called Wise.

And this is why we have Epiphany.

Made total sense to me, and the students, at the time...

Maybe I should I write a new version of the Bible? Or maybe not...

Maggie

Fractured Bible Stories

Remember my student who is sort of learning the Bible for the first time in his life? The one about the confusion with Mary and Eve? New story:

He comes to class and here's what he tells me...

"So, Ms. O... you know the Bible? Well, there's these three brothers who were mad at God and He was a pissed off Dude. Because He was, well, God, man, and you don't go getting pissed at the Man. God got mad back at these homies so he set 'em all on fire. Then! Then! Then the fire was so totally out of control and it caught a bush on fire and the bush was telling the brothers that this is what they get for being pissed at Him. The bush was, like, totally, God! Then the one brother named the Shaq. He, like, said he was totally sorry man, and God like, totally forgave him, and he totally came out of the fire and wasn't hurt.

"God is one bad dude."

I think he was trying to tell me the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. I think.

I know it's wrong of me, but I just can't wait to see what he has to say next, religiously speaking.