The road to Hell is paved with...

I had every intention of blogging at least once a week. I started out strong and was rejuvenated and then I became overwhelmed with "life" and went back to not blogging. Ugh!

I'd like to say it was because we were rolling into holiday season but in all honesty, I just got behind, tired and busy with other things and every day I thought "I'll blog today" and then today came and went without a post.

One thing I hate is that I have the urge to blog when I can't. I feel the muse at weird times, like when driving or on a conference call, and it's impossible to blog then. By the end of the day, after a 1 hour commute, dinner, laundry, all I want to do is nothing. I also still say the back that I start at 2 huge computer monitors for 9-10 hours a day plays a part into my inability to have drive to blog.

BUT... things have been busy here. November was Thanksgiving and Christmas shopping, as well at book club, taking the dog to the groomer, and a haircut for myself. It sounds silly to say but everything in a "big" city takes longer. For example, it took me 30 minutes to drive to book club. My hair dressed it 45 minutes from my office and an hour from home. Add in traffic to that equation... heck, it takes me about 20 minutes to drive TO the grocery store.

December was all sorts of crazy, but crazy in a good way. More Christmas shopping of course. Several trips "back home" for the actual holiday celebration AND for other seasonal commitments. We also took a few days off to go on a free vacation for TheGuy's birthday. I also gave him a surprise party, which took some planning and time. One week we had something every single night: symphony tickets, my company Christmas party, a hair appointment, a city wide bazaar with over 150 vendors, TheGuy's company Christmas party, and meeting my dad half way so he can take my dog to dog sit so we could go on vacation. Whew!

Oh... and. I'm sick. I got the mother of all flus on Monday. I went to work and by the end of the day I was running a fever and felt like crap. I stayed at home Tues and NYE, with a fever and lots of snot, aches, coughing and just a general crud. Today is the first day I've felt human all week long. And I'm still half way through my second jumbo box of tissues, have 5 cough drops left, and almost completed an entire box of meds. And I'm still sneezing and snotting. YES, so gross.

NYE, rather than going to the big party we were invited to, was spend watching GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY and eating junk food, then watching the ball drop, all while drinking hot tea, blowing my nose, coughing, and sneezing. What a "great" way to ring in the New Year, right? It's the year of the sheep... I wanted to make a joke about sheep and sickness, or a pun, and I'm too sick to come up with anything. That' so baaaaaaaaah-ad I feel. (feeble attempt, I know).

I guess today would be the perfect time to make a blogging resolution. But I'm not. Because... well... we know why.

Happy New Year and I hope you're all happy and healthy (and had a great Thanksgiving- if you celebrate it- and a great December holiday, if you celebrate anything!).

To be continued...
Maggie

Let the school year commence

I'm back at school. Today. Right now!!! (okay, if you're reading this after 3:45pm EST then I'm not there, but I was otherwise!) Today and tomorrow are teacher days and we have students on Wednesday and Thursday. We are now officially starting year- round school. We also now no longer have school on Fridays. This week is a 2 day with student week.

I can't believe my summer vacation is over. I'm working on "blogger appreciation gifts" and don't have them all done yet (but be watching your mail!). I have a stack of books not read. I have two quilts not finished. I have recipes not tried. Ugh. The list goes on and on.

I'm going to be really good at being retired.

But on the good side, I do love my job so it will be good to get back into a routine and to see the kids. I have some magic up my sleeve for the library and I have a nice, long, fun list of things I want to do this month with the kids. Well, the next few months, anyway! So, it's not really all about complaining about the end of summer,

I prefer to think of it as being in mourning. I have on my favorite black t-shirt...

Mags

Slowing down

I've decided to slow things down with ITSam. I need to do it.

I have a whole, big looooooooong list of reasons, but first and foremost I'm not sure this is what I want. It's all been too much, way too fast. He's a nice guy, yes, and nice guys should not finish last at all, and the problem isn't about being too nice, or anything of the sort. He is nice, but we don't have lots in common. I find it difficult to sometimes to have a conversation with him because of that.

I feel like anything I say about him is going to make me small or petty and I don't mean to be. It might make me sound callous or harsh and I'm not usually either of those things, either. But there is too much, too fast. We don't have much in common. He likes to spend huge amounts of time together and while I sometimes enjoy that, I often... don't. Sometimes I feel smothered. Mac even asked me one day last week if I felt like that--- scary when your own self absorbed teenager figures it out. (Damn kid's a lot more perceptive than I ever want to admit, especially when it comes to his old mother!) My brain works differently than Sam's does and that sometimes causes me a problem.

ITSam is a good person but I'm not ready to get married or move in together. I'm not even ready to have it as a discussion. So no more talk of rings or apartments, thankfully. I like the idea of sparkly jewelry but not all that comes with it. I like the idea of not having to be a burden to Daddy-O any longer, but not at this personal sacrifice. I'm just not ready to give up the idea of traveling the world. I'm not ready to adapt to the role of "step-mother"-- what a wretched title! I'm not quite sure I'm ready to be HIS girlfriend; there isn't anyone else and I'm not willing to rule out a relationship with someone, but this one in particular isn't just all clicking for me. I am, however his girlfriend, but I'm not sure I want to be, but I can live with for awhile as I figure it all out. (I sort of mentioned not being and I thought the guy was gonna cry so I back peddled that because he looked to crest fallen. And it was going to make the "slow down" part a huge, big THING.)

Sam wasn't happy about my choice but he said at least we weren't breaking up so he can live with it. So, slowing down...

Mags

I haven't blogged in two days

because I have so much to say and I don't know where to begin.

Starting tomorrow, I'll be catching you all up on stuff....

Missin my blog world,
Mags

"You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe!"

The title of this blog post comes from Shakespeare's Henry IV... and I felt this weekend needed to be insulted in a way that the old Bard can only do!

After the craziness that was last night of taking the kids to be volunteers, taking them home, picking up Curley, chatting with Mac about his concert, funeral viewing, dinner, Mac's concert, Curley home and then me home (whew!) I had just planned on vegging the entire weekend. But this two day holiday had other things in mind for my lazy butt!

Mac is taking the SATs today. He has to be at the testing center at 8am. Of course at 11pm last night he announces his calculator needs 4 AAA batteries and he needs two pencils of the non mechanical but number two variety. He also laid a guilt trip on me the size of Texas that I'm a teacher so I know the importance of a good breakfast before a test... blah freaking blah. And the car was on E and the gas light had been on for 3 days. Thank goodness Daddy-O had the needed batteries and since I'm a teacher I had the necessary non- mechanical but #2 variety- pink ones I might add- so haha! And rather than have myself a nice lie in, a lovely morning of laying in bed sleeping in, enjoying a dark gloomy rainy Saturday I was up fixing him breakfast. Yes I love my son but drat!!!! And I accidentally burned the bacon. I did make coffee though! I also gave him money and sent him for fuel for the car while I cooked so all is well. (And I chant: "please please please let him do well so he can get into the University he wants and go to law school and make lots of money and give me some please please please")

I also agreed to go with Curley to her brother-in-law's book signing! I was going to do that anyway but not until later in the day so I'm certainly not complaining about it! Books! Hel-lo?

And I can occasionally have those "dumbass attack" moments as I like to call them. Other have "a-ha" light bulbs flash on brightly but I get "duh" moments as my bulb burns out.... I wrote down my Sisinlaw's baby shower on my calendar for NEXT Sunday rather than when it really is... tomorrow. So I'm going. And again, I am NOT complaining but this is where I get more mad at myself that anything else. I did something dumb with the dates, and now I don't have his (we know the baby is a he) quilt made for tomorrow. I hate it when I'm stupid. Of course I want to go to honor my almost born nephew! I was so glad Sisinlaw and Curley reminded me!

So my restful weekend of being a worthless layabout is no longer. I have plans.

OH.... AND the one day I didn't do a Pink Saturday post, Tiffanee makes a lovely, kind mention of me on her blog! Thank you Tiffanee! So, here is an unofficial Pink Saturday picture!

This is my niece, the Divine Ms K, and this was taken about a year ago. Hey, sometimes you just gotta wear shades!

So, thou art weekend of busy events, you gaphornious villain, go forth for I shall conquer ye!

Mags

Where does the time go?

Last night my big plan was to lay on the couch and watch season 5 of House and catch up on emails. How do the best laid plans of mice and men flop like dead mice?

And I'm not really sure what it was that I did do instead.

I know I stayed after school tutoring my student, who is doing some awesome stuff, and then when I got home I ran some errands. Daddy-O and I decided we were hungry for Chinese food and thought we would take Mac to eat dinner when he got home from a school event but he didn't show until late, which made it a Subway night. Daddy-O went to church choir practice and for the love of all that is pink, I have no idea what I did.

I couldn't settle. I tried to answer emails but couldn't focus. I tried to read but I found I was re-reading the same page about 4 times. I tried to knit and I did about 4 rows and stopped. I just was bouncing from one thing to another, all the while just wanting to go to bed, but waiting for Mac to come home so I could feed him.

My big conclusion was that my BRAIN was tired. My body didn't feel all that sleepy but my brain sure was exhausted. I've had a lot going on at school this week and with the insurance and teeth stress, I think I just plum wore my head out.

Mac finally got home, we hit the Subway- which I didn't eat any of because I just didn't feel like it after I got there... too tired to chew? Then when we got home, I just took a hot shower, talked to Curley for about 45 minutes and collapsed into bed before 10pm.

I was still tired today. I probably have something weird wrong with me. And I just don't care. I just want to rest. There's not rest for the wicked, though.

Tonight I was tutoring my student (I'm gonna have to come up with a nickname for her soon) until 430pm. Then I had to work at the insurance office, went out for Chinese tonight and now here I am staring at all the emails I need to answer and stuff I should be doing and I just. want. to sleep.

Tomorrow, like an idiot, I volunteered to chaperon Friday Night School again, then I'm taking my student out for ice cream since she kicked butt on her Social Studies test. Mac is going to work out, then to a ball game so I won't even have my car.

Saturday is shot taking Mac to vocal contest. Well, that makes me sound like a crappy parent. What I really mean is that Mac is competing at a vocal contest on Saturday and I really do want to hear him sing and see how well he does. But it's about 90 minute drive one way, he has to be there about an hour before his event, then we have to wait until his score is posted, then we can drive 90 minutes back home. It's just a lot of running after a long week where I could've really utilized a relaxing weekend of doing nothing but being lazy.

But Saturday afternoon and evening, plus Sunday is mine to be a bum!

And right now, I'm off to bed even though it is only 8:17 pm.

Sleepy Maggie Mae

I'm alive, well and kickin'... and tired

I. am. exhausted.

I started my new job with the special ed kids this weeks.

Mac moved in with Daddy-O and me for time period unknown.

The weather turned cold and within 48 hours we had snow, rain, ice, sleet, fog, winds gusting up to 30 mph, and sunshine.

I also worked at the insurance office and went to Mac's choir concert. I saw the live Broadway show Annie, graded papers, wrote lesson plans, did some laundry, Christmas shopped, cooked, did dishes, and I think there was some other stuff.

I gave myself permission to not blog yesterday (thank you bragger for this encouragement!); and I've given myself permission to write this week ass blog post.

My plan tomorrow is to try and catch up on all things blog. I've missed reading everyone (though I've read some of my favorites but I didn't take time to comment, sorry!) and I've missed writing. I do have so much to tell you! And also tomorrow, in addition to all things blog, I want to answer emails, wrap gifts, finish the laundry, bake Christmas cookies, see a movie, clean my room, re-arrange furniture, take Mac for a haircut, and finish decorating my pink Christmas tree. Writing it all down makes me tired.

So good night and see you tomorrow!

Maggie Mae

I deserve 8 million lashes with a wet noodle

The last 48 hours have been hectic, chaotic and simply put, exhausting. Nothing is wrong, nothing bad happened, but other than to sleep and shower, I've only been home for about a total of 10 minutes in the last 2 days. I know I owe you a post- the first time I found a dead body is the winner- but it just isn't gonna happen tonight. I just don't have it in me. I don't think I have a brain cell to rub against another one... Speaking of dead, I feel brain dead for sure.

I'm so sorry!

So tomorrow, I promise the dead body post. AND since ya'll are so good and sweet and nice and kind and patient, I'll also give you another post from that list!

So goodnight, reader, wherever you are,
Maggie

Where did the time go?

Do you ever go through a week and feel disoriented? Last week was one of those weeks for me. I have absolutely no idea where my time went. Mac hung out here with me most of the week, we made the roadie to Chicago so I know that killed two of my days, I worked a bunch of hours between the ice cream parlor and the insurance office but in between that stuff, I have no idea where my time went, other than job hunting, hunting, hunting which is depressing and TIME CONSUMING! I cooked, cleaned and did laundry. I am certainly no busier now than I was when I was teaching full time, grading, directing school plays and running the SAT workshops. Even when I was doing all that I still found time to work a part time job, read books, watched a movie here and there and read blogs every day. This last week, I couldn't find time to do anything but the aforementioned stuff.

I didn't have time to watch any movies or TV, I barely read a book this last week and I've hardly had any time to read blogs- I didn't even nap my week away! I even have an inbox full of email to answer. I LOVE reading blogs and I want to stay caught up with my 'peeps but this last week the time just got away from me. So to all, I haven't been ignoring you, I've just been... out of sorts I guess.

I'm hoping this week gives me a little more equilibrium. Today is shot- I work ice cream all day but the rest of my week should smooth out. I should have time to read some of the wonderful new books I checked out from the local library (it's like Christmas! I gave the library a list of recommendations of 10 titles, and five came in so I was the first to get them!!!) I think I can also get caught up on all my blog reading!!!! It seems like everyone posted in the last 2 days!

I feel like I should set up a schedule of my free time, around my work hours. I used to be the Queen of Organization, with sticky notes and planners and blocks of time allocated for everything, but of late, time seems to fly by. Seriously, I think it's only 3 in the afternoon but I look at the clock and it's 7 pm! I think I keep hoping some job is going to open up or I want to remain flexible for interviews, but alas- that is just a sucky option cuz it just. doesn't. happen.

Though if I think schedule-wise, my Tuesday is free other than a few hours in the evening for insurance. Wednesday is ruled out since that's a day with ItalianSam. Thursday is free other than 2 evening hours with insurance. Friday I work no where but Hecate is coming to MY HOUSE (whoot whoot exciting!) and we're going to make quilted hipster purses and chill out. So.... there's time in there to read blogs, answer email, do laundry, see Mac, read books, and send out more of the freakin' sucky applications/resumes, right?

So, this week I vow to get my act together, read blogs and books daily, and straighten my act out! It's bound to all be better soon, right? I committed to an audience that I would accomplish stuff, so now I must- you guys can keep me honest, okay? Sometimes I need a Jiminy Cricket!

Outta my head,
Mags

Hobbies aplenty, but...

I have lots of things I enjoy doing that I consider hobbies but I rarely indulge in all of them. Sometimes it's because of energy level or money or just space. Do any of you have lots of hobbies but only do just a few of them, wishing and wondering why you never do all the stuff you like? Am I the only idiot who has no idea how to spend her free time? Am the only idiot who feels guilty when I don't indulge in ALL my hobbies? Oh, probably!

What weenie excuses I realize, but it is so much easier to curl up in a chair and read a book- reading is certainly a hobby of mine since I average about 10 books a month and I love trying to read new things, often straying from my favorite genre of contemporary female sleuths. I think I read so much, so often because for the last many, many years I've been teaching and much of my spare time involved reading stuff for classes that I was either taking or teaching. So though I HATE being "unemployed" (I don't have a full time professional job so I consider MYSELF unemployed, not anyone else, mind you. Just my own personal status.) I do like having all the time to read. I'm trying out new things, which you can see from my book blog.

I consider blog writing and reading a hobby. I love to write and since I'll probably never have a book published (though here lately I've had a regular reader from Random House hitting my blog- no book deal offered yet!) this is a fun way to get my writing out of my system and indulge my own self with an audience- so thank you to all of you who read and feed my dream of being an author. And I love reading blogs- people are so interesting and I love to see what's up with these "online friends" I've made.

I also love to quilt but that's one of those things that take money and space. I do have lots of material and I could make several quilts without having to spend much actually, so I guess the "bucks" is just a bad excuse. I really like quilting, I really do but seriously, I haven't done it since I moved back here simply because it's something to lug out, spread out and then have to clean it all up. I just don't have a place where I can hook up the sewing machine and leave the fabric spread out all the time. It's just a pain in the ass to haul it out and put it back.

I feel the same way with my scrapbooking stuff. I have tons of that and love to do it, but again, it's a matter of spreading it all out. I even have all the paper, stickers, photos, but no place to just DO it.

I've decided that I consider watching movies a hobby and keep track of what I watch on my movie blog. That can count, right? I've always loved going to the movie theater and I'll spare ya'll and not wax poetic about that again, but I've been watching lots of movies on DVD. I also consider watching the seasons of some favorite TV shows as watching "movies" and a hobby. I don't really watch much TV to just sit and watch, but I have a few shows I enjoy so I like making sure I've watched them all so I rent them on DVD. That might not be so much a hobby as catering to my OCD...

Cooking is another hobby but that's a money issue. I get a few cooking mags and I love reading recipes and marking what I want to cook but that costs money and while Daddy-O is generous with groceries I hate to say "hey let's buy 2 pounds of crab so I can make Italian Bread Crab cakes" or whatever has struck my fancy. I've always loved to cook and I can follow a recipe. The thing that sucks is that Mac is a picky eater so I would rarely get experimental with cooking for him. And it's hard to cook elaborately for 1; ya end up eating the "whatever" for a week.

I do take pictures and enjoy being a VERY amateur photographer but it's nothing I do with consistency. I have an idea for another blog where I would like to photograph interesting people and then briefly highlight something unique about them, their stories. But I'm not sure of that. Part of me wants to do it anonymously but there could be a legal issue with featuring people without their permission. But as for just taking photos, I do so enjoy it.

Should I even go into gardening? Years ago I had a veggie garden and lots of flower beds. Then I became rather nomadic and gave up on gardens and house plants. But I do love veggie gardens and flower gardens. I'm armed with knowledge on how to plant vegetables, herbs and to make an English flower garden if I had the money and space to do such a thing.

Oh hell, maybe I'm just full of excuses as to why I don't do anything other than read, blog and play on the Internet, take pictures, or plop my ass in front of the movies. I do love doing all these things, whether I do them often or not. And since I do just work 2 (sometimes 3) part time jobs you would think I could find TIME to do things. I'm such a bum, a loser, a worthless layabout sometimes! Wouldn't it be marvelous to get paid for having a hobby? I'd be rather flush! So, I supposed I should sign off here and go do... something!

So much fun to do but...,
Maggie