Think Kit Day 25: Merry Christmas

Think Kit: Share a photo from your year that highlights giving, thankfulness, traditions, or finding peace.

My son, my niece, and my 2 nephews at our traditional family Christmas gathering. I'm thankful for them, and the hope I have for the future lies with them which gives me peace. They're my family and I give thanks for them.

 *I didn't actually write this post today but have been back logging post to catch up on the topics. I'm going to finish this project no matter what!

Think Kit 20- who made a difference

Think Kit Day 20: Who made a difference for you this year? Was it a close friend or a stranger? A specific moment in time or the entire year?

I think it's hard to think over 365 days and pick a single one person who made a difference to me in 2013. this has not been the best year for me: I'm still in this crappy job so I worry about money all the time. I still live in dad's attic (which I'm thankful to have and not be homeless) but I'm 42 and live with my dad- it's a blow to my independence/ ego, and I feel like a mooch. Mac has run me through the emotional and financial wringer this year. I have no health insurance and I'm paranoid about getting sick, and I haven't felt all that healthy for about 5 months. My relationship with Sam, which was on again and off again felt like it was going in a good direction, then we started the relationship roller coaster in June and that's been tumultuous at best. I'm not complaining, though it sounds like it, I'm just explaining why my 2013 has felt crappy. And I've tried to change so much but after so much discouragement, it feels rough to develop the motivation to change anything and to just plod along. My life is the devil I know... so, all that being said I feel like many people made a difference, so in big ways and some in small because I think people can help me stay sane.

• my friends all make a difference in some way because they listen to me, I can listen to them. We laugh and cry and hang out. We talk seriously and are silly. We give and received advice and preserve sanity for each other (and this I've needed it!). They're the people who give me a reality check in a nice way but also know when I need to just vent. These woman- Curley, Mama Cashew, Lori, Steph, Mandi, Kayla, Jess, Kim, Other Kim, Rebecca- are the family I was able to choose.
• My family has made a difference- for many of the same reasons as my friends, especially my dad because no matter how ticked off he gets at me, he still love mes unconditionally.
• The minister at my dad's church made a difference. I realize it's technically "my" church but I don't go very often so I feel weird about claiming it as my own. Anyway, at the beginning of the year I was going to church a couple times a month and I liked it. I like his preaching style and his outlook. I like his "voice"- not the sound of, but his personality/ character/ brain. It might've restored my faith in "church" (even though most of the time I agree with Amy Farrah Fowler-"I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance."
• Many of the people I met when I was going to Indy- for creative ideas and positive attitudes. It's fun to meet new people and learn things. Brittany, Lynn, Nancy, Sacha, Blare, Dawn, Jenn-- these are all pretty cool women from Indy who I met this year. It's nice to have them as acquaintances and if I would move to Indy, it's nice to know there are possible friendships to form
• My online friends and penpals make a difference. Most of them I've never met face to face- Patti, Sam, Jack, Bragger, Annie, Georgette, LR, Tony Mc, Nic- but either through my blog or USPS or email, these people make a difference- many for the same reason as my face to face friends and family. There is something to be said about sharing secrets with a stranger who can be completely objective...
• It might sounds silly but the staff at the local Starbucks make a difference to me because they make me feel like I matter. They know me by name and know my usual. They ask about my dad or dog or work. They ask about the book I was reading the last time I was in. I like that feeling of routine and belonging. (which we can armchair psych evals- after the year I've had, routine is good, duh! Routine means security- duh!)

I'm sure there are more people to this list... people have made a difference this year and for that I thank them all for being in my life, in some way... and for restoring my faith in humanity, one person, one kindness, one selfless act at a time...

Love,
Maggie

Think Kit Day 14- good advice? valuable lessons? Yes and Yes!

Think Kit #14: Did you get any good advice or learn a valuable lesson this year? Was it expected or unexpected, easy or tough? Share what you learned.

Lesson/ advice #1: This is a year that I received lots of good advice but, at times, I had to figure it out on my own. I've been in a rocky on again- off again relationship. My friends and family fall firmly into 2 camps: walk away or try. Most are in the walk away group. This advice comes blanketed a lot nicer than "run for the hills" but that's the general gist. And though  this topic has been talked to death with my girlfriends, as women are wont to do, I seem to be finally realizing I should take their advice and just leave. I've been single for almost 18 years (OMG I can't believe my divorce was that long ago!) and I've had various serious relationships in that time, but nothing has stuck. And even though I'm 42 and sometimes lonely (and tired of doing it all by myself) it doesn't mean I should stay in a relationship that's unsatisfying or unhealthy. And even though I think about the fact that at my age, single women have a better change of being killed by a terrorist than getting married, it's okay to be single (though preferably not killed by a terrorist). I'll be fine. I intellectually KNOW this but sometimes my heart doesn't understand it.

Lesson/ advice #2: The other valuable lesson is that tough love is necessary and hard, especially when it comes to your child. My 20 year old son is making terrible life choices. Enough said; I can't fathom typing those details here, or anywhere. But the resonating voice is that of my brother. My brother and I aren't "close" but we do have each other's backs, even as adults. And when he learned of some of the crap Mac was doing/ pulling/ going though, when my Bro heard of Mac's poor choices and saw how I was letting if effect me, how I was beating myself up, how I was or wasn't coping, he said the best thing: "Mags, you can't help that Mac doesn't behave how he was raised. He knows better. You did your best. He's doing this to himself." And he is. And I have to stand by and let my adult child do what he's doing.

Ahhh 2013, what a rough year. If I were superstitious, I'd wonder about the "13" of it all...

It's a hard knock life,
Maggie

Washin' and sweepin' and cleanin' up this joint!

I am so proud of what I accomplished today! To some it doesn't seem like much but after the week I've had, it felt good to do some physical work, at my own pace, and work mostly alone.

My aunt and uncle are coming for a visit. They should be here tomorrow or Monday- maybe even Tuesday- so Daddy- O decided he and I should do MAD cleaning. I cleaned all the things today.  The house isn't disgustingly dirty but we haven't done "deep" house cleaning, spring cleaning style, for awhile.

I cleaned the kitchen, including wiping down cupboards, emptying the dishwasher (and filled it again, ran it and then emptied it again), sweeping the floor, and putting away all sorts of stuff. I vacuumed the dining room rug and carpet, and cleared off the table, which was craft central but now we can eat meals there! I cleaned up the laundry room. I carried all my stuff to my attic room that was downstairs and put it all away. I also vacuumed the living room rug and carpet, and Daddy-O's room. I scrubbed a bathroom and hand mopped the floor on my hands and knees. I did 3 loads of laundry. I gathered trash and replaced all the bags. I went to the grocery store, too!

I also walked the dog and finished a novel.

I bought a bunch of "grill food" so Daddy-O grilled it all so now neither of us have to cook tomorrow or Monday.

When the fam calls to confirm an arrival date and time, I'll mop the kitchen and run the vacuum downstairs one more time. Daddy-O is in charge of dusting. I hate dusting.

This was a good day. (Not as fun as spending the day with Lilith yesterday!!!) but a good day nonetheless!

Now, I'm relaxing with watching reruns of CRIMINAL MINDS, and tomorrow I can relax too- it will be finish the laundry and write letters day!

xo,
Mags

Wonderful day

I had a such a nice birthday! The actual day of I went to dinner with my family at McAlister's Deli which is one of the best food places in the world! I'm so thankful my family all got together to celebrate with me. And i appreciate the lovely gifts!  Curley sent me a stunning bouquet of flowers, too.

I got a special birthday surprise from fell blogger Evil Pixie! Thank you so much, dear! She made me a beautiful necklace, and also gave me a high heel cookie cutter!!! And the cutest notepad with pink shoes!

I had a pedicure with XRay Girl, which was so nice. And I had lovely texts, cards, messages, emails, tweets, etc from family and friends, near and it far.

Also, Photographer took me out for a wonderful supper at a local fancy-pantsy place, and the guy I see also turned a whole weekend into all about me with great food, a shopping spree, and a nice massage!

It was a lovely birthday! I think I'll do this once a year. Maybe twice!

Mags

Birthday wishes!

Happy Birthday Bro! He's another year older- welcome to 37. Now he's closer to 40 than 35- bwahahahahahaha! (but yes I know I'm going to always be older...!)

And thanks for assist at Wally World! (tho I missed that call for ribs!)

Glad he's my brother!

Happy Day, Dear Little Brother!!!!

Hugs,
Your Older Sis!

Great Family Day, too!

Spent the day in the capital city with Daddy-O and two of my cousins from the southern part of the State.

It cracks me up that we met and hung out at a Barnes and Noble for a few hours, sitting in the cafe, chatting and doing book stuff. I got Daddy-O an early birthday gift- a Nook Color and we all 4 played with it there at the store so if he had problems or questions, we were there to take care of it ASAP.

We also ate a fab lunch at Red Robin and laughed and talked more.

It was a fun day with some family. I love these cousins and it was nice to just relax with them

Another great vacay day!

Mags

Decorating for Christmas memories

When my mom was alive the tradition was that on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, we always gather at my parent's and decorate all the trees, eat, and just have a good time.It was always one of my favorite days of the year.

The Sunday after Thanksgiving we arrived around after church time and started hauling out the decorations. We had to get started on time and early because it's a lot of work putting up and decorating 7 trees. Yes, 7 CHRISTMAS TREES!!!!!!!!! Were my parents insane or the real Claus's you may ask? "Maybe" is the best answer I have for you.

After we hauled all the trees and their decorations out of storage, along with 10 (or more) nativity scenes, the Santa Claus collection and the village my mom painted and other miscellaneous decorations, we could get started. I was usually assigned the kitchen tree which I loved. It was full of novelty lights- the glowing snowmen, twinkling candy canes, the shining M and M shaped lights, the old fashioned bubble lights and so many others I can't remember them! I get tickled every year when I pulled out the strings of lights that are ensconced in their own decoration. This tree is also covered with novelty garlands like trains, popcorn, cinnamon sticks and beads. There are wooden cranberries and snowballs and snowmen and Lifesavers. All the ornaments that adorned this tree are kitchen and food related. It's a full tree- like 6 feet- your standard average tree. It was adorable and everyone loved it when they came visit.

In my folks bathroom was a Charlie Brown looking tree covered with bird ornaments that fit the decor. The guest bathroom had a table top tree with music ornament- notes, instruments. My parent's bedroom had a blue spruce with old fashioned ornaments in antique pinks and creams. The staircase tree was covered in nothing but crystal ornaments and clear glass bulbs. Oh yeah, the tree on the screened in porch had twinkle lights and was covered in huge red balls and gold ribbons. The upstairs tree was my bro's and was a white tree with blue lights and ornaments that struck his fancy.

While I am working on the kitchen tree, the apple cider was on the stove making the house smell all warm and cinnamon yummy. There were snacks set out- munchies like cheese and crackers and pumpkin roll, which we never got any other time of year. Mom made sausage balls, nacho dip, baby hot dogs in sauce with pineapple. Everyone else was doing their parts, moving from room to room to decorate their assigned trees or lug boxes for mom. Mom directed our cheery (though sometimes motley) crew in where everything goes- like we couldn't remember from year to year but we humored her and took the direction well, only exchanging a few well intended eye rolls. Dad was often outside hanging outside lights and swearing. Or he might be in the house, weather depending, doing trees, Santas, village, swearing... Christmas carols were played and we were singing alone from all over the house but voices combined in a cacophony of sound that only sounds sweet at the holiday.

It was also my job to crawl in the closet under the stairs to hand stuff to dad that cannot be outside like his antique, hand-painted nativity village, the snow globes, the fragile things that have survived the years.

Then there was the family tree. It's the one we decorated last and we all did it together. Mom sat in her chair and dug the ornaments out of the boxes and handed them to us. We all had "our" own ornaments- pink things or frogs for me, trains for Bro, purple or butterflies for my SisIL, music for dad, and a potpourri of "boy" things for Mac, and the list goes on and on. Ornaments that represent us each year- our hobbies and interests, our favorite colors, our marriages, babies, new homes, new jobs, little pieces of our past that came with a story that someone told. The penguins that look like they are frolicking in the snow or the round balls covered in glitter that always look like sugar plums to me need to be hung up. We sang carols together and Bro always tried to sneak "Grandma Got ran over by a Reindeer" in and my dad and I guffaw while mom and Bro howled with laughter and we all ended up singing along. We remembered when my ex- husband broke the first ornament that was ever on my grandmother's tree and it was irreplaceable. We laughed at the baby's first Christmas ornaments and us babies are all in our 30's and Mac is a teenager! We'd eat and laugh and sometimes cry.

Then we tried to clean up or finally give up. We'd go to our own homes now that we were all grown up. Sometimes I thought that day was better than Christmas day itself.

Mags

A bride, a baptism and a birthday

I photographed a wedding yesterday and it was one of the coolest weddings ever. Each table at the reception was named after a martini and the table center pieces were giant martini classes filled with red roses and floating candles. There was a martini luge, too. (This is a huge ice sculpture in the shape of a martini glass and the martini is mixed and then poured through the sculpture to chill it and into a glass at the bottom!) Of course the bride was beautiful; her shoes were 4 inch heels, in red, with a satin ribbon running over the top- I want want want! The ceremony was held in a beautiful cathedral in the Chicago area. The food was awesome. We ate all day long. I usually never eat the day of a wedding so I had my typical cup off morning java. We shot the wedding and then I rode in the Hummer limo with the wedding party to a park to take pictures; we all had a picnic at the park (cookies, bottled H20, turkey sandwiches, pretzels). Then we all went back to the hotel and there was a hospitality suite with a free (open) bar and tons of food (lobster sandwiches, fruit plates, cookies, shrimp, hummus, chips, sub sandwiches). I took pictures and was encouraged to eat. Then we had a cocktail hour. Where we took pictures and ate (brushetta, fried wantons, shrimps with bacon, something with artichoke). Then there was dinner at the reception, where I took pictures and ate! (tomato bisque soup, salad, rolls, mango sorbet to cleanse the palate, fillet steak tartar, steamed veggies, twice baked potato, and wedding cake). The wedding was beautiful and classy and the food was delish!

The wedding was a good 3 hours and a little more away. The reception was to end anytime after 1am. I was off the clock around 10pm so I headed to my room. I was beat and exhausted. I was full and tired. I had no desire to drink or dance. So I went to my room. At a 4 star Hilton. In Chicago. With a king sized bed. In a 4 star Hilton. I have decided that every few months I'm reserving a room in a 4 star hotel and I'm checking in as early as possible and staying overnight, alone. I love fancy hotels and I love staying in them. So I took a shower and relaxed and read.

Then I checked out at 525am and drove the hours back home to see Fab Finn be baptized. He was such a champ. He was a trooper. He was adorable and dressed in a little white baby tuxedo like outfit. He was awake and alert and checked out the whole thing. He gurgled and smiled. He was the cutest thing at 3 months old! He didn't even cry when they sprinkled the water on him.

After the baptism we went back to Bro and SisinLaw's house. It was the Divine MsK's 2nd birthday party. We had pizza and cake and she opened her presents and was cute and sweet and just adorable. She has a little widow's peak! She's so cute!

Today was a long day but it was good. Now, I'm getting a delightful foot rub from ITSam, watching Criminal Minds reruns and am going to clean my room.

Ah bliss.

Oh and did I mention I'm totally taking tomorrow off to have the house all to myself? Am so ready to chill.... I make no promises to do anything except to blog.

Mags

ADHD in writing

• The heat makes my fingers and toes swell and I can feel them being all tight and puffy.
• I am not going to assign personal journal topics again because now I want to bring Alcatraz kids home with me. As Daddy-O reminded me, they are not puppies and kittens and I can't bring home the strays.
  
• I can't get my mind settled to read for pleasure. That scares me. I've been reading with a tenaciousness like no other for about 39 years. I need books like I need air and now I can't seem to find anything that holds my attention. Not good.
• I had a kid REQUEST a copy of The Diary of Anne Frank because he heard it was good and wanted to read it. He asked if he could borrow a copy from me since our school library doesn't have one. I told him sure and I got him a copy that I'll bring to school tomorrow- it's his to keep.
  
• ITSam is bald. Big deal. But why does he spend time outside and NOT wear a hat and then get all sunburned? I don't understand men.
• Mac is taking sociology and now he knows everything. This is going to be the semester where I learn about how crappy of a parent I am. Geez.
• I am so sick and tired of the hot weather. SICK AND TIRED. On the list of "places I want to live in my lifetime" was Savannah or Charleston and New Orleans. They're all officially crossed off the list. I hate the heat and never want to see over 90 degrees again. I hate hate hate this weather.
• Last night at dinner Mac said Daddy-O was laughing at the movie Black Sheep. Other than wondering what in the hell Daddy-O was doing watching that dreck, my first thought was "I like the movie The Pineapple Express. I'm not a movie snob." Now you might want to know how I went from Black Sheep to Pineapple Express. Here's a peek inside my head: The kids I taught in the Wild West always said Mac looked like Chris Farley who was in Black Sheep. But then Mac grew a beard and the kids said he looked like Seth Rogan who starred in the movie Pineapple Express. Yeah... hence the title of this post.
• Someone once said a compromise is when no one gets what they want. I hate compromising; I'm beginning to agree with that statement. Maybe I'm better off single.
  

Testosterone overload

Yesterday ITSam and I took our boys to Northern Civilization for the day. We went to see the movie The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and then I had to get my phone fixed at IHateVerizonWireless. Then because it was so very hot, very very hot, we just decided to come up with some inside things, like walking around a mall so the boys could show us all the stuff they want for school. Then they guys went to an music store to play instruments and I stayed at Barnes and Noble and read for an hour.

It was about a 20 minute drive to the theater and all the way there the guys talked about some new upcoming video game. I was quiet, listened, and watched the scenery.

First, the movie was kinda cute, and much better than I thought it would be. It was weird to figure out how to sit. ITSam and I sat together and then it was strange to arrange the boys. His kid wanted to sit next to him and Mac didn't care. Or at least he said he didn't care, but I think he wanted to sit next to me but was 17 years old and wasn't going to fuss about it since the 11 year old just did. On top of that ITSam's son wanted a particular seat (long story as to why- something about center of the screen) and whined about it to his dad. It happened to be the seat his dad was sitting in and I just told the child, "No. That's your dad's seat." He shut up and sat down. ITSam looked at me and I thought, "uh-oh. Oh shit. I just overstepped big time!" Instead, he said, "How did you do that? He usually whines." I just told him it was my teacher voice that gets kids every time. (In reality I think it worked because the kid was either shocked I said anything or because my tone implied I was not going to tolerate any whining at all.)

While I was at IHateVerizonWireless the guys went to a video game store. Then the talk from the store to the mall was all video games. Then walking around the mall was cool and my own quiet time while they were at the music store was great. We ate dinner at a Red Robin and there was tv with cartoons so there wasn't much conversation.

But in the car all the way home was talk of Star Wars, Family Guy, video games, Will Farrel, stand up comics, cage wrestling (or maybe it's fighting?), Seth Green and Weird Al's music. All stuff I pretty much hate, know nothing about, have no interest in, or think is boring. I think I said about 4 words the entire 45 minute trip home. I didn't care, really. But later ITSam asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. And he said I was so quiet and I told him the truth. I wasn't mean nor snotty nor did I use a tone but then he felt badly. I told him it was no big deal.

I do know that the next time the four of us go anywhere I'm bringing my iPod and a book.

But I would certainly rather have a car load of guys all getting along than fighting. And I'm glad there are no girls thrown in this mix, other than me, either!

Adjusting,
Maggie

Obsession

First, I want to formally announce that I have an adorable little niece and a brand new nephew whom I shall dub in bloggerville as Fab Finn.

Why Fab Finn, might you ask? Well, because he is Fabulous! And Finn? Because... and this is a dumb reason, but as good as any when trying to assign a moniker to a person who has only lived for a few weeks and hasn't had time to earn a nickname between the nursing, sleeping and peeing. So, I picked Finn because I'll never have another child but if I did I thought I would love to name him Phineas. I love Fab Finn's real life name, but all identities must be protect, so Fab Finn he is. And I tried to convince Bro and SisIL to go with Phineas but the request fell on deaf ears (isn't there some culture where the only Auntie, sister of the father, gets to name the baby??? Hmmmm???). So here, in my space in the blogosphere, I dub thee Sir Fab Finn. His big sis is the Divine Ms K, and I couldn't copy using the initial thing, so Fab Finn he is!

Now all that being said, I think I'm obsessed with Fab Finn. I've had to control the obsession, or I would be at his house every day holding the baby.

He's also amazing. He's just the perfect size to hold. He's a solid little guy and doesn't feel like he's going to break. He's also not squishy anymore. You know, the newborn squishy-ness when the baby is still sort of all curled up in womb shape. He's all elongated and flails his arms all around and kicks. He's also using his voice and will yell, which sounds funny having such a loud sound come out of such a little person.

What gets me the most about this adorable little being are his eyes. He just stares at me when I hold him. It's like he's memorizing how I look. Or he can see into my soul. He's so serious and intent on looking right into my face. He makes eye contact. He little dark blues eyes will just practically burn a hole. I wonder what he's thinking. I wonder what he sees. I wonder if he knows what going on inside my mind.

He's a pretty amazing and intense looking little guy.

Mags

Brain freeze

I had about 389 ideas for posts for today, as I was writing this last night, but for the life of me, I can't think of one of them. I'm so tired, I guess. I had a few funny stories about... stuff, I think.

On Thursday evening:

The whole fam-damily arrived from Texas. We went to meet the Nephew. I had a minor computer issue that figured itself out. I worried about the birth of the baby. This was a day of special education students taking final exams (using the DUMBEST exam schedules in the history of schedules). I had to clean the kitchen, do a load of laundry, and make up the bed for the guests. I've worried because of a friend of mine is angry with me (he's giving me the silent treatment... nice) and is now ignoring me. Mac made plans and left the house, then changed his plans and left again. We went out to dinner. I returned library books. I have a new job lead that's going to require some fast re-doing of the resume.

Lemme think; I'm sure I can do better than this later today. And if not... well, there's always tomorrow!

Mags

Why I have Writer's Block

I'm sitting here staring at the blank screen trying to figure out what to type. It's way to early in the year for me to have writer's block. Or maybe it's just a carry over from last year?

My writer's block could be because I've been on vacation and haven't done much bust stick close to home. My Aunt and Uncle from Texas have been here since Tuesday, making the house over full with adults and personalities. I love them to death and love having them come visit. Daddy-O's house is small and is an "open concept" meaning the only doors are on the bathroom and his bedroom so if if anyone wanted to be alone, they had to leave or go in the bathroom. But the visit was good and it's always wonderful to see them. I did think my Aunt was going to freeze to death because she HATES the cold and the temperatures have hovered around 10 degrees here, with snow, for the last week.

I also attribute my writer's block to just not really doing anything with anyone but Mac, the family, Daddy-O, Curley, and XRayGirl. And none of these outings have been outrageous, just our normal stuff- shopping, watching movies, hanging around. I've not really watched the news or been out and about because it was cold. I've been to see movies but I haven't been reading or watching tv.

I can understand why I might have run out of things to say on my blog. I've run out of things to say in real life to Daddy-O and Mac. Mac and I rode in the car for 30 miles and never said a word to each other the whole time. Maybe there's too much together-ness happening right now, since we've all been in the house together for almost 3 weeks?

Oh, I could tell you I've done away with my movie blog. No one really read it too often so I've just decided to keep a list of movies I see on this blog, over in the side bar, and I'll be writing a review of some of the movies in a "gadget" found at the bottom of this blog- if you scroll down there now you can see what I'm talking about since I saw The Princess and the Frog yesterday. (And it was sweet!)

I haven't decided if I'm going to host a book blog or not. I did, however, write a year end recap of my 2009 reading habits. Now, I do know I have readers of that one, and I found the absolute most adorable PINK book template so part of me wants to keep the book blog just for those reasons, but I'm not sure. I also keep track of my books on a web site called GoodReads. It will allow me to write reviews, page number count, date them and adds the book cover art and everything I do on my personal book blog, and more. But can anyone read my reviews at Goodreads if they aren't a member? (And if you do have an account at Goodreads, I'm there listed as 'Maggieo') I should check that out while I'm deciding, but I'm not in a huge hurry to get that set up because I'm just not in the mood to read right now. But I digress...

I could also have writer's block on a personal level because I'm re-working my resume. Ick. That is the only word for it: ick. It's hard to do and takes lots of concentration and creativity- I don't want to lie, of course, but I want to make some of my skills sound worthwhile and picking and choosing the right words are a pain in the butt. I've been doing that for a couple days now, and I'm frustrated and it seems to have sapped all my energy for wanting to write creatively and humorously.

I've also been answering letters and emails in depth. Now, I LOVE getting personal emails and I love corresponding with folks but I seem to do it in big blocks and by the time I write 5 or 6 emails that are about 2000 words each, I'm not feeling blog style writing. OMG- is there such a thing as "too much" writing? That's can't be!

So that's why I have writer's block. My creativity is sapped. Or well not sapped, but blocked. I don't have any stories to tell right now, other than I could explain why I've wanted to smack Mac for the last 3 days- the grumpy pants, whining, teenager. Oh yeah, because he's a teenager so by definition I want to smack him. But I'll save that for something to blog about tomorrow! Unless something exciting happens between now and then.

I might even go to church in the morning; that would be a blog post too. That is, if the walls don't come tumbling down or a lightening bolt strikes me dead. Could happen...

Maggie

Really? Out of a jar?

Occasionally some childhood illusions are destroyed and it's not the end of the world, it just leaves ya scratching your head muttering, "Really? Are you serious? Really? Don't kid me, now. Really?"

Christmas is a time of family traditions, or it used to be for our family but some of those have gone by the way side, again, not the end of the world, but just different. When we were kids we could always go to my Grandma F's house (Daddy-O's mom) on Christmas Day afternoon. As my childhood mind recalls, we would have snacks and open gifts and then eat dinner later. Okay, makes sense.

One thing I always remember that we had at Grandma F's house was hot wassail in a big white soup tureen. We even would sing the Wassail song. Then it was served in pedestal tea cups with red cardinals on them, with a cinnamon stick. There was also a plate of cheese and crackers. The crackers were ones we never had any other time of the year- like vegetable crackers or cracked wheat. This was back in the late 70s and early 80s when there weren't 9000 kinds of crackers in the cracker aisle at the store; we had Ritz and Saltines, maybe Triscuts if the store was large enough. So at Christmas 'special holiday crackers' were available and Grandma F always had them. Now we would just call 'em wheat thins. The cheese ball was fancy looking and rolled in nuts, placed on a fancy plate with a paper doily. It had a good taste but nothing like I ever had anywhere else or any other time of year. And she was a doily sorta lady.

Well, Grandma F passed away about 16 years ago and recently I've come to figure out that the magical Christmas snacks of her house were completely and utterly NON-fancy. As Daddy-O said, "she wasn't much of a cook but she was all about presentation." The table was always glorious, we always had special holiday napkins and table favors, the food was always good but very simple.

The special cheese ball? Well, apparently the old gal would buy a few jars Kraft Pimento Cheese (I never knew there was such a thing until I saw it for myself in the grocery store!), chill it, and then form it into a ball and roll it through some chopped nuts: viola! A "homemade" cheese ball! And the wassail? Simply heated up apple cider from a local orchard that she threw some Cinnamon sticks into.

And do I even want to explain that her hamloaf, which was amazingly delicious, came from the butcher but all she did was bake it and dump pineapple over it? I don't even want to know if she really made the corn casserole or if it was 'fake' as well.

It has just made me laugh every time of think of these things because all these years I thought she made some secret special recipes that could never be duplicated yet the items have been on my local grocery stores shelves for years. I've a a good giggle all Christmas season about it; man did she have the wool pulled over my eyes! A few years ago I looked up how to make Wassail and I couldn't believe she would go to all that work and no wonder it was so yummy! Geez!

So I think New Year's Eve, I might make some of Grandma F's very special cheese ball and Wassail. I don't think it'll be too difficult.

Maggie

Christmas recap

We did our family Christmas on Christmas eve day since Guard is working on Christmas day, which sounds like it really sucks for all involved, not just the state guests.

Anyway, we had a lovely family time. Since I had been so sick (I never want to eat Mexican food again. Ever. Any it will be a long while before I ever want to eat steak, nacho chips, lettuce or tomatoes again either, together or separately. ) I didn't get any cooking done. Not one cookie baked, not a casserole made, nor a coffee cake baked. So, we went to Bob Evans for Christmas Eve brunch. I finally ate food for the first time- blueberry pancakes- yum.

After brunch we went back to Daddy-O's house and opened gifts. I got lovely things from everyone- thank you! Mac and Daddy-O really liked what I got them (Mac is now stylin' in an ear flap fur hat and some huge red sunglasses and sporting a Fossil watch. Hey, he ASKED for those things. I'll try and post a picture...!) After the gift exchange, Guard, Booknut, and the Divine Ms K went to some of her family, and Mac went to his SD's. Daddy-O and I chilled here at the house, cleaned up and just read. It was nice!

And at age 1 year (plus a few months) the Divine Ms K loved the boxes and paper and even threw the stuff on the floor to sit in the box and wave arm loads of paper around. Cute!

We had some nasty weather roll in, bringing ice and rain and sleet, but we were all done traveling and home safe. Christmas Eve was the day!

So where did that leave us on Christmas Day itself? Well, apparently the weather warmed up over night to a balmy Midwest winter in the 50s (el Nino much anyone?)so on Christmas Day the snow was ALL gone, and it rained all. day. long. I made cinnamon rolls (The Pillsbury kind) and Mac got home from his SD's and we all just hung out.

Then in the afternoon XRayGirl went with Mac, Daddy-O and me to see Sherlock Holmes, which was good and you can see my review of it here! (I liked Roberty Downey Jr in the Holmes role but I wish is was Johnny Depp instead. If you see if, then you'll understand how he could've pulled it off perfectly!)

All in all, Christmas was just grand! Guess today we're returning a shirt of Mac's that doesn't fit. And stopping at Kohl's to have the security tag removed that was missed from a pair of jeans that were given to Mac. And I think we're going to Best Buy to spend a gift card Mac received! Did I mention there's snow on the ground again? Oh Goddess... help!

Hope ya'll had a great Christmas and are enjoying the long weekend! I plan on seeing as many movies as humanly possible!

Maggie

I'm having fun, damn it!

Whew... I am sooooooooooo tired. All the damn time. And I'm thinking about everything I'm doing this week that's fun, and I'm worrying about... EVERYTHING.

So I'm here to concentrate on the Fun stuff:

• Hopefully I'm going to see Amelia tonight with Daddy-O
• Tuesday XRayGirl and I are going to an Amish bakery for goodies and then Mac and I are going to see Pirate Radio
• Wednesday I'm going to visit Hecate, whom I've been dying to see for months! And then I'm going to see the late late showing of Law Abiding Citizen
• Thanksgiving Day I'm cooking a small dinner here at the house and watching the parade. I plan on napping. Mac and I might see a movie: New Moon or Planet 51
• Black Friday: Daddy-O and I talked about arriving for the 4am opening of Kohls. Him for the great sales and me for the free donuts. Then I would go home and take lots of naps.

I'm also subbing all three school days this week. I'm going to clean the kitchen, make some Christmas cookies and finish making some Christmas cards. (I'm gonna some laundry, too.) I'm also going to work on my knitting. I'm gonna hang with Curley. And I have several new books I'm excited about like This is Where I leave You, The Magicians, The Poisonwood Bible, and The Whole Death Catalog.

No wonder I'm tired. But I'm focusing on the fun. The fun. The fun!

Fun girl,
Maggie

The up side is that at least I'm not a pilgrim

My best Thanksgiving ever, no offense to my family intended, was last year. Philsgirl, Phil and I spent the day together. We all fixed a little something...okay that was a lie- we all fixed a LOT of somethings. Phil did the turkey deep fried and Philsgirl and I made a whole host of other yummies. I even made twice baked potatoes just for Philsgirl, and if I do say so, they were freakin' kickass yummy!

Now I'm back in Civilization and... Thanksgiving is going to be 'strange'. Is that a better word than problematic?

When my mom was alive and before the Grandparent Shrews were super hideous, we had a totally WASP-y Thanksgivings: good china and crystal and silver, linen tablecloths, dress up, sit at the table and pass everything in the right direction type of Thanksgivings. (This was the only WASPy thing about us, by the way!) When my grandmother was well she cooked and we went there and endured a meal. When she got on in years my mother started cooking. We're also a small family: dad and mom, me and Mac and whomever I was dating at the time (if I was), my bro and his current squeeze, and then my grandparents. That was it.

Mom died and Daddy-O went to his distant cousin's home for the feast, and Guard and Booknut went to her family. I was in the Wild West so it didn't matter. Now, this year I'm home and for awhile I thought I would cook a big Thanksgiving dinner here; I've done this before and it wouldn't be a problem for me. However, my sis-in-law, Booknut, had other plans. And just told us what she was going to do.

I don't have a problem with the fact that she arbitrarily decided she was going to host Thanksgiving at her house, without discussing it with any of us. I honestly don't care, even though I do have a tendency to lean toward the control freak.

She invited her whole family and again, I still don't have a problem with that; I think that is completely awesome. She SHOULD invite her whole family and they're coming from all over the place. Her sisters and their families are even coming, and that'll be the first time in years they'll all be together on a holiday. She has cousins and aunts and uncles who are coming as well. She asked her dad, my dad, me, Mac, some friends, and the Grandmother Shrew. She said there's gonna be about 50 people in all. Again, that's pretty cool, actually.

BUT!!!!

She and my brother live in a tiny little house, like 500 square feet. And they're pack rats so space is practically non-existent. Where are they gonna put 50 people? When the Divine Ms K turned 1 year old, there were 11 of us CRAMMED into their living room, and that was only 11 people! So I asked Booknut and she said she "didn't know." And she's never cooked Thanksgiving dinner, doesn't have enough tables or seats, and isn't sure if they're even going to use paper plates or what... I'm sure it'll all come out in the end, and I'm sure she'll do a good job with the meal (and according to my bro, her aunt makes the best chicken-n-dumplings in the world and she's helping cook, too!).

While I usually spend my life flying by the seat of my pants, I am an event planner at heart. If there's an event to occur, I'm your woman to organize it down to the last detail. The fact that there are no details being planned, and that no one really cares, is driving me crazy!

I also have a weirder problem than an unorganized dinner. I don't want to go. I don't know any of her family and I'm just not good at small talk these days. I'm really not. It makes me feel stressed and angry and self loathsome and depressed and inadequate. And of late, I don't want to make small talk with people I don't know and will never see again. And I'm not being a snot about her family; I don't want to go to my dad's distant cousin's either. I don't know them, either, and it will all be just small talk there as well.

I'd rather stay at home and cook a small meal here and then go see a movie or two. XRayGirl invited me to her place and I know some of her people and I think that would be fun, but I can't snub family to spend it with friends, can I? I wish my RetiredFBI cousin would host Thanksgiving and I could go there.

Maybe I'm just depressed, thus being a butthead.

At least I'm not the turkey,
Maggie

A long weekend in review

Fall break for teachers and kiddies just ended and since I was a teacher and my job is really that of a substitute, I actually had a 4 day weekend with everyone else involved in the local school systems. And I had a jammed pack 4 days, let me tell ya...

For a door?
Thursday morning Daddy-O and I visited the hardware holy land also known as Lowe's. Daddy-O wanted to get one of those electric fire places thingys with a mantel and he wanted to price exterior front doors. So we made a mecca to all that is worshipful in the way of tools. He found the fireplace but decided he wanted a new door instead.

He found what I considered to be a plain wooden door with some glass. Nothing fancy at all. And the door, uninstalled and without a frame with $1275! For a freaking door! And that DID NOT INCLUDE a door knob or a lock. OMG! And it was just a plain old wood door! Shit! With that sort of money I could've gotten a nice pair of winter Jimmy Choos and a matching handbag, from their sales department, of course. Needless to say, Daddy-O didn't buy a door OR a fireplace. (Or Jimmy Choos for me, in case anyone was wondering.) he did splurge for Starbucks Peppermint Mochas, though- yummy!

I stood in a rainstorm for a free hotdog...
Curley, Mac, Daddy-O and I spent Friday together. It was pouring down rain (like it had been for the last 38 days. I AM not building an ark. I'll just tread water. Also, the word of the day was "humid.") so we headed to Northern Civilization for the day. We went to a place like nothing I'd ever been to before. There's a company that comes to town and opens a store in a warehouse from now until Christmas eve and everything in the building is $1.49. EVERYTHING!

We wondered around, me with my mouth agape at the sales and the hordes of people. HORDES of people! Mac finally took the keys and went to the car with his iPod to hide since he gets agitated in crowds (not agoraphobia; he just hates people, especially those who are shopping, in a small space, and pushing a cart holding a screaming toddler). There were people and stuff everywhere. I can't get into words this experience. The stock changes hourly, according to an employee, so if there was something I wanted, I had better buy it NOW because it wouldn't be there in an hour, or 10 minutes. It was like sale day in Filene's Basement- people ready to kill each other and run over each other for a $1.49 candle in the shape of the nativity, Jesus head being the wick. Really. After wondering around and checking out (standing in line for 30 minutes for stuff that cost $1.49 each) I think I was still in such a shock or a stupor that I stood in line, in pouring rain, for a free hotdog. And a free bottle of water.

After some other shopping we had dinner at the best Italian restaurant in the world. Baked spaghetti and Italian bread with oil and Parmesan cheese, and a salad.... ah bliss.

Eggs-ordinary behavior
Saturday morning was spent at the insurance office, then I went to the library, and grocery store- always a good time (not really). The highlight of the trip to the store- which was really the food section of Wally World- was my rude behavior. But she was rude to me first. She started it! I swear!

Some woman whacked into me with her cart and didn't even say "excuse me", that bitch. Then the second time, yes you read that right she ran into me not once, but twice!- she ran into me, she mutter 'sorry" under her breath and gave me a shitty look like it was my fault that 3009 other people HAD to go grocery shopping and I was sort of patiently waiting to go down a row.

I get all done shopping and am almost to the check out where I learn I forgot eggs. Which are all the way in the back of the store. The WAAAAAAY back. But then, who do I spy, holding up clothes from the "I wanna be a slut"line of clothing, but the rude woman who whacked me. And since she was so involved in trying to decide if she would look better in the pleather zebra print mini skirt or the hot pink vinyl vest (she would look like a sausage in a colorful casing in either, by the way) I snatched the eggs right out of her cart and kept going, into a check out lane, and out the doors to the car. Bitch. See if she ever runs into me again. They'll be the best scrambled eggs ever.

Happy Halloween!
On Saturday, after my bout of anger management through dairy products, I also cleaned the kitchen and cleaned out the fridge. I cooked. I got ready for tricker-or-treaters. The Divine Ms K and her mama came over for a visit before she turned into a bumblebee (the cutest costume in history! oh, and she was a pumpkin, too!) and buzzed off to do some trick-or-treating.

I didn't get all my movies watched because I was finishing up my 100th book of the year (15th book of the month) but XRayGirl came over and she and I did see Sweeney Todd, which she'd never seen before. And drank margaritas. And laughed lots. Not at Sweeney Todd, because it's not funny, but over other stuff.

Nothing wrong with a day of rest
Sunday found me doing laundry, reading, changing clocks, and Daddy-O and I went for a walk at a local walking park. There was finally no rain and no humidity- just blue sky, cool temps, crisp breezes.

All in all, a pretty darn good weekend. And I'm subbing today so it was nice to relax...

Now, how many days until Thanksgiving break?
Maggie

A visit from the fam-damily!

I have an Aunt and Uncle who live in the Lone Star state and they just came here to Civilization for a visit. It's my dad's brother and sister-in-law, just so you know the relationship, not that it matters but I do so like giving all the facts.

We had a great time; I hadn't seen them since my mom died. Dad has been to visit them several times since then and they've been here, but just not since I've been living at the house. So, it was a good time and fun to see them again.

I have to say there were a few funny things that happened during this visit. First, I think it doesn't matter that I'm a 38 year old adult; to them, I'm 10 years old. When we were trying to figure out a place to eat supper, for example, listening to them make a decision was hilarious and I was just keeping my mouth shut. because I was 10 again so it didn't matter what I thought.

Also, my aunt is always cold. really cold. It was in the low 60s or the high 50s the entire time they were here but my aunt was cold. One evening she sat in the living room in a long sleeved shirt under a turtleneck sweater with a jacket over top that- and then my barn coat was on. And the furnace was on in the house. I was comfortable in jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. It was unreal that she could freeze in the temps of 60s and the rest of us were just fine. I felt bad for her but other than giving her more clothes and blankets there wasn't much I could do!

My Uncle is diabetic and he had to be super careful with his sugar, obviously. He does the insulin and such and he also watches his carbs. And my Aunt REALLY watches his carbs. She points out the carbs and fat content in EVERYTHING. After a few days I wanted to stuff my face with entire box of Twinkies. Again, no wonder I was feeling 10.... I know she's a very healthy eater and wants my dad and me to be more healthy because she worries about us- which is awesome to have someone love us so much- but I just wanted to eat without thinking about it.

And since I live in the attic now, which is also the guest room, I had to share my space with them. That wasn't bad at all, except I had to "clean my room" before they got here.... hmmmm, no wonder I thought I felt like I was 10. My uncle snores.

Anyway, it was a great visit. I'm hoping to get to Texas to see them next year since I've never been there. Daddy-O is going over spring break or maybe over Thanksgiving.

Nothing like family,
Maggie