I know you can't catch up on lost sleep but I'd like to try

On the weekends when I do my part time secretary gig I get all stressed out over Sunday. Sunday is my only day off and I get myself into a dither over it. Yeah, I know-- talk about needing to learn to relax.

Here's the thought process: there are so many things I want to do and there's not enough time in a day. I want to just read, watch movies, maybe get dressed and hang at my favorite coffee shop for a change of atmosphere and to be left alone- sometimes I like my alone time. I feel like I should just relax and a big part of me wants to do nothing more than relax and lay around but then I think about cleaning the garage, doing laundry, grocery shopping, finish my book club book, cleaning my room, gathering tax papers, responding to emails, paying bills... I think of all the things I SHOULD be doing. I argue with myself that I worked all week and almost all weekend so I deserve a day to just hang out. Then I look at the list of crap I should do.

What will probably happen is that I'll do the shopping, get my tax papers together and I'll do laundry while just hanging out here at the house and reading or watching Netflix. I guess it's a happy medium. I keep pushing the big chores to the back of my mind.

I think it's the thought that I worked 12 of the 13 days. The idea of that makes me tired.

I was telling Daddy-O that when I work on the weekend my Saturday mornings are shot. I always think I won't set my alarm because I usually can't sleep much past 8:30 am on a weekend. But for the last 4 or 5 Saturdays, I've gotten up between 11am and noon. I feel like I sleep the sleep of the dead. I think it's because I go a million miles an hour during the week and then the weekend gets here and I mentally crash.

I remember a few weekends when I lived in the Wild West where Friday night would roll around and I would make no plans. I get some groceries and movies on my way home from school and then put on my jammies around 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I would often crash by 8pm and sleep until nearly noon on Saturday. I would just lay on the couch and watch movies and nap all day Saturday. I wouldn't even get dressed or shower and I would usually go to bed around 9pm and sleep all night. On Sunday I would finally take a shower late in the afternoon or early evening and put on another pair of clean jammies. I remember the re-charging of the battery feeling of those weekends. I didn't do that often- I didn't need to- but when I did I was just a big slug, but come Monday morning, I was ready to dance back into the classroom and impart learning!

I'm wondering if my ability to crash on a Saturday morning and sleep until noon is a much shorter version of "re-charging my battery"? My body and mind finally meet up and realize I need to sleep for one long unbroken period of time?

Here it is, Sunday morning at 9:40am and I'm awake and blogging. I've been up for about an hour. No coffee or shower yet, but I've still been up for an hour. And after I hit 'publish' here I'll be taking care of those. Then I'll get the laundry going. And at least I'll be dressed and ready to go when I feel like tackling the grocery shopping.

And then I'll sit in front of the fire and read. Even if it's just for a little bit.

Maggie

Doing Nothing on a Wednesday & the adventure up my sleeve for today

Yesterday was one of the best days of my spring break......... I did nothing. I didn't even take a shower or take off my jammies. I laid on the couch most of the day and watched movies, read a book, and napped.

Now it was raining, dark and thundering and lightening, so I watched the storm. Oh I could think of only two things better: 1) having a lie-in with a wonderful man doing the same things but adding sex to the list, or 2) spending the day shoe shopping. Since there's no man there was no sex. Since there's no money, there was no shoe shopping. So I did my third favorite thing to do on a warm stormy day- nothing.

My stack of rented movies was high so I just watched those (Secret Window, Ned Kelly, The Jane Austen Book Club, The Soloist, Mystery Alaska) all day long.

Mac was in the house, in his room, playing video games, Facebooking, and texting. He'd pop down to see what I was doing, say hey, talk for a minute, grab food, and disappear back upstairs. He and I made homemade pizza. We'd never done that together before and we had all the stuff to do it. And we actually did it together. He was like a little kid with Legos, building his pizza. We ended up with three layers of pepperoni and three layers of cheese on this sucker. So now I know when he goes to college he'll be able to make home made pizza, hot dogs, and scrambled eggs.

Oh, I talked on the phone to Curley, to XRayGirl and... a fella I know. I also had a screaming match with the Sperm Donor- well, he was screaming and I was calm and relaxed, which freaks him out even more- the arsehat fucktard. I also played on the Internet. I did a touch of laundry. Talk about the best day...! (Even with laundry and the asshat!)

Oh, and one more thing! I ate chocolate, lots of chocolate! Goddess bless the after Easter candy sales!

I seriously love doing nothing. I like working, sometimes, for the most part, and yes, I do like doing crafts and hobbies, but sometimes doing nothing is perfect. a seriously huge case of doing nothing.

Now I am leaving the house today. First, XRayGirl said she is going to take my hair issue into her own hands. She made an appointment for me with her stylist and, I'm here to tell you, that girl had BEAUTIFUL hair. Stunning! Her stylist has very short hair so XRayGirl thinks her stylist can help me- she can either fix it or give me ways to work with the mess. (But from what XRayGirl repeated her stylist said she's probably gonna have to cut it all off and let me start all over again with a frickin' pixie cut, one more time... Karma/ Dogma hair)

Okay, back to me leaving the house. XRayGirl and I are going with her Granny to an Amish bakery and cheese shoppe. Then I'm going to my hair appointment, and XRayGirl is going with me for moral support. After that--- we're going to *gulp* go driving. She's going to teach me to drive a stick shift. I have no idea how to drive a manual transmission and she's decided to teach me. It would be a good thing for me to learn, right? If nothing else, it'll be good blog fodder. After that might involve booze for both of us- we may need it.

I'll let you know how it all turns out, from the hair to the driving. Maybe we should drive first because then if she pulls my hair out, I won't be bald?

Happy Thursday!

Exercise is my enemy

I hate to exercise. I know most people do, and I am one of those. I need to exercise. I want to lose some weight, but I hate the commitment to actually working out. When I was teaching full time, I would talk about going to the gym and one day a student said, "Oh, are you trying to get in shape?" My response was, "I am in shape. Round is a shape." I'm shaped like... a snowman. But...

I have joined gyms in the past and that dollar sign usually inspires me to work out to get the biggest bang for my buck, but lately I have become a worthless layabout. I am hoping if I profess my need to get into shape to the blog reading world, then I will have some responsibility to actually do it.

Someone told me the local YMCA, which I have a moral and ethical dilemma about, has some membership slashes for low income families, of which I am one. I am really considering joining. Also, to increase their membership, during the month of January, all their 'classes' (like Zumba) are free to anyone who wants to take one.

The most exercise I get are 20 ounce curls (of peppermint mochas). Or climbing up and down the stairs at school.

Oh, and other than the urge to lose some weight, it's an excuse to buy shoes. Like exercise, tennis shoes type of shoes are my least favorite sort of shoes! I was looking at some online and "good" shoes are about $100 or MORE a pair- I about had a damn heart attack- I mean I'd have paid that price for Jimmy Choos (or more) but for a pair of tennis shoes? They don't even look good with skirts! And I can't find matching purses! You can't see my pedicure in these shoes! But they did come in this lovely shade of pink....

Okay, I need new running/ exercise shoes, I know. But I can't afford new shoes that are that expensive. So I can't exercise. Oh, I am so glad I have figured out why I just cannot seem to workout right now. I can continue to sit here and blog, and drink my Venti Peppermint Mocha!

Maggie

Not sweating the small stuff

You know several years ago there was a book that came out called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's All Small Stuff? Well, first I want to say that it is ALL NOT small stuff- there is big stuff; this is life so there's just BIG stuff. That's the way it is.

BUT, I'm not going to focus on the BIG stuff; my purpose is the not sweating part. What got me thinking about this was an incident at McDonald's this morning. I went through the drive-thru and ordered a large coffee, 1 cherry pie, and a sausage biscuit; all three items are on the $1 menu. I paid, got my food, and drove away. I opened my sack and had 2 cherry pies and a sausage. cheese and egg McMuffin. In a past life this would've pissed me off to the point of either calling McDonald's and yelling, or going back and demanding the right food. Hell, I HAVE done that in the past. For whatever reason, today, I shrugged my shoulders and ate it.

Tonight, I was knitting something (don't ask- I'll explain later, in another post, about ME knitting!) and I was trying to find the end of a new skein of yarn. I pulled and pulled the wrong end until I had a huge wad of yarn on the floor and I couldn't "put it back together" again. rather than it freak me out or had me angry, I just figured I'd untwist a bunch and knit with it, then stop and untwist a bunch more and continue until I was done. Should I stop and wind it into a ball? Oh, probably. But It doesn't bother me the other way, and I'm just going to unravel it to knit with it so.... I just don't mind.

I realize these are just two examples, and both happened today, BUT this is just how I've been lately. I can think of several times this has happened. Being stuck in traffic and I just wait patiently, having 27 people hang up on me while doing telemarketing and I keep calling, waiting patiently in ling behind the crazy lady at the bank and I just read a book I had in my purse, or the old lady at the post office who... well, it doesn't matter HOW long she took; I just watched people come and go... the list goes on and on. Most stuff that would normally send my blood boiling just seems to roll of me. Nope, I'm not in love, nope I haven't come into a large sum of money (darn it!!), nope I'm not taking anti- depressants... I really think I'm starting to mellow. I could also be so depressed that I'm past the point of caring, but that argument doesn't seem to hold much water... I really thinking I'm learning to mellow. Wow. I'm as shocked as you are.

Am I completely mellow and lost in my own sense of euphoria, and becoming one with all things calm? Hella, no! But I'm headed that way. So I have a secret or a trick that's making it happen? Not that I can think of at all... I am taking some advice from a wonderful friend, Jas. he is so positive, and has such a happy energy, and his mindset and way of thinking is amazingly good, that it's hard to NOT be happy. And to take his example and try to be cherry... well, something is working and I think he's set a good example for sure.

I am still a control freak and have some issues with that; there are certainly things, especially job/career related, that get me "fired" up. Hell, I work in education so I obviously have some control issues. But I don't think you can look at me and see "Control Freak" tattooed across my forehead any more. I don't think if you run into me in the hallway, I sound like a stretched rubber band any longer. I have a bit more.... elastic in me, I guess, to continue with the analogy.

It was one of those big "a-ha" moments for me. Seriously! The "a-ha" started while I was eating an Egg McMuffin I didn't order. Hmmm, guess ya never know when brilliance is gonna happen!

I'm lovin' it,
Maggie