Mac has lost his wallet. We did the whole "think back" where he was when he had it last, which was a chore in and of it's self. Teenagers go weird places and do weird things. And they're in cars with lots of people. Could it be in Nick's car? Levi's? Justin's? Even's? Could it be in the yard where they played in the snow in the middle of the night? The garage at Nick's where they were hunting for a cord? In Nick's mom's car? Stolen from work? Blah, blah, blah!
We finally determined where he had it last and where he thinks it has to be... either Nick's house, Nick's mom's car, Nick's backyard or stolen from work. That's what Mac thinks. We still have been checking out the entire house, top to bottom. We've gone through all his laundry, his room, his bed, around the TV, the bathroom, the kitchen, the porch, under all the furniture,IN all the furniture, his school bag, my car, his coat.... we have seriously looked everywhere. (And yes Daddy-O we looked behind the bookcase where it fell before.) We even checked the laundry room itself. It just isn't here.
Personally, in all honesty, I think one of three things happened:
1- one of Nick's sketchy friends found Mac's wallet and stole it (I REALLY think this happened!)
2-it's somewhere in Levi's car or Nick's mom's car (these are the last 2 vehicles he rode in while he was thinking of where he saw it last)
3- he left it in his coat pocket at work and someone lifted it from there (least likely but a possibility based in the information I have
So what this means is that he has lost his driver's license, his social security card, and his brand new ATM card (there' no money in that account and won't be until Monday- thank God!)
Can anyone think of a better situation for identity theft than this? And Nick knows some sleazy people and it wouldn't surprise me if one of those people sold it off. UGH!
I told him to cancel that card ASAP. His entire school loan is going to be deposited in there on Monday and he doesn't want that amount stolen! He's freaking out because it's a $20 fee to replace the card and 10 days before the card will be here. I could care less about either of these things but he's freaking out over it.
What I'M more concerned about is replacing his driver's license and his social security card. I went to the SS web site and according to the FAQ it's not horrible to replace- can you believe that???? Because he knows the number and because his place of employment has a copy of it, his place of employment can provide a copy and sign a gov. form that it's really Mac's card. Mac will also need to show his driver's license and fill out a form and he'll have it in about 10 days. Cool. Not a big deal, right?
Sounds like all we have to do is replace his driver's license, which shouldn't be a big deal, right? I mean, replacing the Social Security card is so easy and that's the federal government so getting a state issued document should be a snap, right?
Fuck no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mac needs to prove his identity and proof of his residence. He actually has the 2 documents he needs to prove his residence but he doesn't have anywhere near what he needs to be able to prove his identity because one of the things he needs is a SOCIAL SECURITY CARD!!!!
So, according to the BMV web site, an residence of this state can go with him and vouch for his identity, but I would have to bring in documents. Now, remember, we are REPLACING a license that the state has already given him once. We aren't starting from scratch. So I have to have a valid driver's license from this state (I do); I have to provide 2 of the following: passport, birth certificate, social security card (I have all three); and I need to have 2 of the following: a utility bill with my name and current address that matches my Driver's license, a doc bill with my name and current address which must be issued within the last 60 days, a pay stub with current name and address issued within the last 60 days, and a bank statement issued within the last 60 days with my current address and name. Yes, I need all of that stuff to vouch that Mac is Mac.
How does anyone do this??? This is so stupid. I've had a run in with the BMV before and it just keeps pissing me off. Why did people go postal, and not BMVal? Makes me so mad because this is bureaucracy in action and we are helpless cogs in this particular government wheel. And all this has changed under the auspice of our current governor- I've done research and he's the asshat who changed all this. $%*)(&%(@#*! (<--- I want to swear a LOT, as you can tell) This is another reason I hate him and I swear if he run for POTUS in 2016 as is rumored then I will move anywhere for the time he's in office because he's a total menace.
Daddy-O and I have reminded Mac to put his wallet in the same place over and over again and he never does, whether it's at home or in his pocket. He's so freaked out about it. He's mad at himself, too. Yes, this is a hard life lesson, I know. And yes maybe in the future it will teach him to be more responsible but this is such a huge pain in the ass and a huge stressor. And he doesn't deal with with stress and he doesn't need any more of it in his life right now.
I wish the wallet fairy would pop up. Hell I wish we would just find it, even if it's just there in front of our faces.
Ugh!
Maggie
Showing posts with label BMV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BMV. Show all posts
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Damn the DMV
In my recent old age, I try to remind myself to "be calm and carry on" and to "not sweat the small stuff & it's all small stuff." I might rant and rave here and to friends and family but when handling a situation in reality I try to be calm and adult. Most of the time I succeed in this quest for anger management.
Sometimes I fail.
When Mac got his driver's license he was still living at the Sperm Donor's house so that's the address we put on the license.
Mac didn't get a summer job so he never opened a bank account. And--- he wouldn't have any pay stubs either. I'm just pointing this out now- think of it as foreshadowing.
Mac went to open a bank account at a nation bank chain. He was 18 so he went alone. He filled out all the paperwork and the teller asked of ID. His license didn't match his forms so she told him he had to have ID with the proper address. I don't know why, nor do I care.
We decided to just go to the DMV and get his licensed changed. I went on the web site which has to be the least user friendly web site in all history of web sites, to see what documentation he needed. I couldn't find it there so I called and after being on hold for 12 MINUTES, the woman said he would need a piece of mail with his address on it.
So, last Friday, I went up to Mac's college to see him and out plan was to go out to lunch, then to the DMV to change the license and then to open the bank account.
We arrive at the location to find they moved. Across town. About 8 miles. In a town where I'm not familiar with locations of stuff. The GPS rerouted us and we arrived.
We take our number and get called.
Mac tells the woman he wants to change his license. This is where things went severely wrong.
He provides his old license and his acceptance letter from the College, and his Social Security Card. SHE tells him that won't work. They talk. He says, loudly, "Are you kidding me?" He beckons me over.
She tells me the mail isn't a US Attorney approved piece of mail and it will not suffice. And he needs 2 pieces of mail with the address, not just one. I calmly say that I called and was not told we needed 2 nor that there was criteria for the type of mail. She said I should've looked at the web site.
I told her I spent time on the web site and since it was not user friendly I called instead. She told me it was there and I should look.
I said that since I was already there, maybe she could just tell me what we needed. She said it was on the web site.
I told her to pretend I didn't have a computer and to give me the list. Mac has steam rolling out his ears and I hear him muttering under his breath- lots of bad words.
I look at the list and Mac could use things like bank statements, a pay check stub, a Passport, a mortgage or auto loan documentation, a deed to a house, something to do with being a veteran, or utility bills.
I took a deep breath and told her he just turned 18 in April and didn't have any of these things, and did she have another option. She asked why someone his age didn't have a bank account. Mac said "because I need a correct driver's license address, lady!"
I explained the bank's policy and said that was the reason we were here. She said she didn't have to do that when she got a bank account. OMG!
I swear Mac is snorting like a bull, ready to just explode. I'm taking deep soothing breaths, because I know if I loose it that will be the signal to Mac that he can as well--- which would be very, very bad.
I nicely tell her he has nothing on the list and I nicely ask if there is an alternative.
She said we could provide a copy of his transcripts. Okay, I think, cool. We can call his old high school or hit the admissions office and come back. But- no! Miss Helpful Pants then says it has to be an official transcript and with a letter. You. have. got. to. be. kidding. me.
I'd like to say we just walked out and that the stupid ended there, but no. I wasn't that smart to just give up, go to a different bank and lie about Mac's address.
I said that since I was his mother, could I sign something? Well, sure, as long as I could provide 5 forms of ID. I am NOT exaggerating.
Because I would be verifying his identity, I would need to prove mine. For me to do this, I would need to provide 2 forms of photo ID, one of them being my driver's license with my correct address, she snidely pointed out, that bitch. Then I would need a Passport, an original copy of MY birth certificate and then 2 items from the list she gave Mac. And I would need an original copy of Mac's birth certificate, his old license, and his Social Security Card.
Mac lost it. He started raving, and yes, raving is the only word that will work here, he was RAVING about the idiocy of bureaucracy, the stupidity of the government, why the US is in such pathetic shape, and something about health care reform. He also told her she was an "imbecilic , heartless, government drone" who could kiss his ass.
I didn't need to say what I was thinking- I just hustled him out before we were arrested.
Let's just say we still have no correct license and Mac still doesn't have a bank account. That's okay, he still doesn't have a job anyway. (Oh and about the bank... the branch of the bank he wanted to open his account in closed and is no longer in his college town! Go figure that one!)
We did have a good lunch...
Need I say more?
Maggie
Sometimes I fail.
When Mac got his driver's license he was still living at the Sperm Donor's house so that's the address we put on the license.
Mac didn't get a summer job so he never opened a bank account. And--- he wouldn't have any pay stubs either. I'm just pointing this out now- think of it as foreshadowing.
Mac went to open a bank account at a nation bank chain. He was 18 so he went alone. He filled out all the paperwork and the teller asked of ID. His license didn't match his forms so she told him he had to have ID with the proper address. I don't know why, nor do I care.
We decided to just go to the DMV and get his licensed changed. I went on the web site which has to be the least user friendly web site in all history of web sites, to see what documentation he needed. I couldn't find it there so I called and after being on hold for 12 MINUTES, the woman said he would need a piece of mail with his address on it.
So, last Friday, I went up to Mac's college to see him and out plan was to go out to lunch, then to the DMV to change the license and then to open the bank account.
We arrive at the location to find they moved. Across town. About 8 miles. In a town where I'm not familiar with locations of stuff. The GPS rerouted us and we arrived.
We take our number and get called.
Mac tells the woman he wants to change his license. This is where things went severely wrong.
He provides his old license and his acceptance letter from the College, and his Social Security Card. SHE tells him that won't work. They talk. He says, loudly, "Are you kidding me?" He beckons me over.
She tells me the mail isn't a US Attorney approved piece of mail and it will not suffice. And he needs 2 pieces of mail with the address, not just one. I calmly say that I called and was not told we needed 2 nor that there was criteria for the type of mail. She said I should've looked at the web site.
I told her I spent time on the web site and since it was not user friendly I called instead. She told me it was there and I should look.
I said that since I was already there, maybe she could just tell me what we needed. She said it was on the web site.
I told her to pretend I didn't have a computer and to give me the list. Mac has steam rolling out his ears and I hear him muttering under his breath- lots of bad words.
I look at the list and Mac could use things like bank statements, a pay check stub, a Passport, a mortgage or auto loan documentation, a deed to a house, something to do with being a veteran, or utility bills.
I took a deep breath and told her he just turned 18 in April and didn't have any of these things, and did she have another option. She asked why someone his age didn't have a bank account. Mac said "because I need a correct driver's license address, lady!"
I explained the bank's policy and said that was the reason we were here. She said she didn't have to do that when she got a bank account. OMG!
I swear Mac is snorting like a bull, ready to just explode. I'm taking deep soothing breaths, because I know if I loose it that will be the signal to Mac that he can as well--- which would be very, very bad.
I nicely tell her he has nothing on the list and I nicely ask if there is an alternative.
She said we could provide a copy of his transcripts. Okay, I think, cool. We can call his old high school or hit the admissions office and come back. But- no! Miss Helpful Pants then says it has to be an official transcript and with a letter. You. have. got. to. be. kidding. me.
I'd like to say we just walked out and that the stupid ended there, but no. I wasn't that smart to just give up, go to a different bank and lie about Mac's address.
I said that since I was his mother, could I sign something? Well, sure, as long as I could provide 5 forms of ID. I am NOT exaggerating.
Because I would be verifying his identity, I would need to prove mine. For me to do this, I would need to provide 2 forms of photo ID, one of them being my driver's license with my correct address, she snidely pointed out, that bitch. Then I would need a Passport, an original copy of MY birth certificate and then 2 items from the list she gave Mac. And I would need an original copy of Mac's birth certificate, his old license, and his Social Security Card.
Mac lost it. He started raving, and yes, raving is the only word that will work here, he was RAVING about the idiocy of bureaucracy, the stupidity of the government, why the US is in such pathetic shape, and something about health care reform. He also told her she was an "imbecilic , heartless, government drone" who could kiss his ass.
I didn't need to say what I was thinking- I just hustled him out before we were arrested.
Let's just say we still have no correct license and Mac still doesn't have a bank account. That's okay, he still doesn't have a job anyway. (Oh and about the bank... the branch of the bank he wanted to open his account in closed and is no longer in his college town! Go figure that one!)
We did have a good lunch...
Need I say more?
Maggie
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Drama with the BMV- part I
I bought my car in 2006 from a private individual and I knew it had been wrecked and fixed. I'm still making payments on the car to this woman, who is known to be a bitch. But I needed a car, she and her hubby had one and I could afford the payments.
When I bought the car from them, we put my name and theirs on the title, which she held since I was paying for it- makes sense to me. I also knew it was wrecked and fixed, therefore it has a "salvage title" according to the BMV.
The bitchy woman was a pain in the ass when I was trying to plate my car when I lived in the Wild West. Finally that that state just issued me an emergency title that was good for one year and if she wouldn't send the title to the county the next year, the car would have to sit. (She didn't want to mail it to the Wild West because I guess she thought they would give it to me rather than mail it back.)
Now I'm here in Civilization and need to plate my car. So I went to the BMV who said I had to send a form to the Bitchy woman and have her send the title to them. I told them what happened last time and they thought maybe it was worth the try since it didn't have to leave the state. I thought it was worth a shot. But as the BMV lady dug a little deeper in the computer she found a copy of the title and thought I might not have to have the real thing. She starts clicking away and is positive and enthusiastic about me being titled and plated today.
Until the screen turns red and blanks out and then gives a huge "warning" message, red alert, Code Blue- we were at a halt and there was no plating to be done. Because somewhere along the way, the proper papers were never given to the BMV that support the salvage title. And the system red flagged it and now... well, let's say the choices aren't pretty at this point. I can
1) call the Bitchy woman and get copies of all the receipts that show the repair work was done. And a picture of the car after it was wrecked before it was fixed. And a letter from the mechanic who fixed it, stating it's road safe. And then I need to have a police officer sign a BMV form stating that the VIN number is accurate.
Now, option 1...yeah- so all the repair work was done about 4 years ago!!! Who in the world would have copies of the repair receipts- and I would have to call the Bitchy woman to see if she has the receipts. And the mechanic who did the work is DEAD now. So, option 1 has lots of problems.
2) I can NOT drive my car and let it sit and not ever be plated because according to the paperwork, my car is a piece of junk and can't be driven, so there it would have to sit. Forever.
Now, option 2... I need my car. Hello?!? And it's not a piece of junk. The only thing wrong is some discolored paint on a door and the power lock on the driver side doesn't work. I've driven that car across the country and back. I've been all over the Midwest and my home state. I've put over 50,000 miles on the car myself and it's all GOOD! My car is NOT junk!
I have to go back to the BMV tomorrow morning. Apparently they have an option 3.
I'm tired,
Maggie
When I bought the car from them, we put my name and theirs on the title, which she held since I was paying for it- makes sense to me. I also knew it was wrecked and fixed, therefore it has a "salvage title" according to the BMV.
The bitchy woman was a pain in the ass when I was trying to plate my car when I lived in the Wild West. Finally that that state just issued me an emergency title that was good for one year and if she wouldn't send the title to the county the next year, the car would have to sit. (She didn't want to mail it to the Wild West because I guess she thought they would give it to me rather than mail it back.)
Now I'm here in Civilization and need to plate my car. So I went to the BMV who said I had to send a form to the Bitchy woman and have her send the title to them. I told them what happened last time and they thought maybe it was worth the try since it didn't have to leave the state. I thought it was worth a shot. But as the BMV lady dug a little deeper in the computer she found a copy of the title and thought I might not have to have the real thing. She starts clicking away and is positive and enthusiastic about me being titled and plated today.
Until the screen turns red and blanks out and then gives a huge "warning" message, red alert, Code Blue- we were at a halt and there was no plating to be done. Because somewhere along the way, the proper papers were never given to the BMV that support the salvage title. And the system red flagged it and now... well, let's say the choices aren't pretty at this point. I can
1) call the Bitchy woman and get copies of all the receipts that show the repair work was done. And a picture of the car after it was wrecked before it was fixed. And a letter from the mechanic who fixed it, stating it's road safe. And then I need to have a police officer sign a BMV form stating that the VIN number is accurate.
Now, option 1...yeah- so all the repair work was done about 4 years ago!!! Who in the world would have copies of the repair receipts- and I would have to call the Bitchy woman to see if she has the receipts. And the mechanic who did the work is DEAD now. So, option 1 has lots of problems.
2) I can NOT drive my car and let it sit and not ever be plated because according to the paperwork, my car is a piece of junk and can't be driven, so there it would have to sit. Forever.
Now, option 2... I need my car. Hello?!? And it's not a piece of junk. The only thing wrong is some discolored paint on a door and the power lock on the driver side doesn't work. I've driven that car across the country and back. I've been all over the Midwest and my home state. I've put over 50,000 miles on the car myself and it's all GOOD! My car is NOT junk!
I have to go back to the BMV tomorrow morning. Apparently they have an option 3.
I'm tired,
Maggie
Monday, January 5, 2009
Can I have a ride?
I lived in the Wild West for almost 3 years and I never got a driver's license from there... yeah, I know, I know.
But, my Civilization license expired on my birthday, so I have been driving on an illegal license for several months. In my defense, I didn't know it expired on my birthday in 2008; I legitimately thought I it expired in 2009.
Now, all that being said, one of the first things I wanted to do when I got home was get my ass to the BMV so I could renew it. But I had to wait until I received mail at my new address.
I get my mail, my Social Security card, and my old license and bebop down to the BMV. I had a book and a coffee- I laid in supplies for the long wait. I walk in the door and lo and behold I am the only person in there, other than 6 employees. And when is the last time you've seen happy BMV workers? They were happy- or at least no longer bored because I was a living, breathing person other than themselves.
I happen to get a clerk I'll call Dolly because she wanted to be Dolly Parton. At least I think she did by the hair. Her big hair. That same Dolly color- well, parts of it were the Dolly color. The fake super curly clip piece was the Dolly color and could've been purchased as a gen-u-ine Dolly Parton hairdo from Dollywood Gift Shoppe. Her original color was a sort of blond with smoke yellow highlights... But she seemed NICE!
She wasn't super bright either... but she was NICE! So I take a seat, give her my mail with my new address, my SS card, my old license (with the super CUTE picture of me!), and she smiles at me. I smile at her. She taps in the computer and then she frowns at me. I frown.
Dolly: "You have points on you're license."
Me: "Oh."
Dolly: "There are 6."
Me: "Oh."
Dolly: "You have to take the test."
Me: "What? Oh shit, are you kidding?" Uh, yes, I said Oh shit at the BMV. Loudly.
Dolly: *giggles* "Hunny" she said this and patted my hand- "Hunny, it's not so hard. I work here and almost failed, though."
I have test anxiety. I about stroked out right there in the middle of the BMV. What if I failed? I hadn't studied! I'm a teacher; I would never allow a person to take a test who didn't study! And I think I blurted that out because the next thing I know, Dolly is printing a test for me and telling me if I fail, I can come back and take it as many times as I want until I pass- it's free. Was that supposed to make me feel better? It didn't.
I take my test to the testing nook, under the watchful eye of Dolly, after being told I am NOT ALLOWED TO USE MY CELL PHONE while taking a test- what, did they think I would phone a friend? I read the directions- I could miss 6 written questions and 2 signs, and still pass. Six?!? If I missed 3 signs or more, I automatically failed. If I missed 7 written or more, I automatically failed. Well, that's reassuring, isn't it? I was not feeling BMV love, or Dolly love. But she sat behind her desk, smiling encouragingly, and doing a twiddle finger wave at me.
Like a good test taker, I read through all the questions first, I knew I had no time limit so I could take my time, I was breathing deeply and I found the answer key attached to the back of the test. Oh great. The answer key. now- I had the Good Angel in Manolos and the Bad Angel in Payless Pumps yakking in each ear... Manolos won and I gave Dolly the answers back- but it would've been really easy for me to NOT have done that!
So, I take the test and sweat. I'm thankful she didn't tell me I had to go to defensive driving school or take the driving part of my test. At question 8 I thought defensive driving school might not be so bad. At question 13 I thought I might be able to bribe a person who would be giving me the driving test. At question 22 I was ready to cry. At question 28 I was wondering if Daddy-O would loan me his bicycle. At question 32, I was plotting the murder of Sheriff Deputy Sam in the Wild West who gave me all the damn tickets that caused the points, and at question 37 I decided driving was overrated, walking would be good for me, and that the people who wrote this test knew nothing about test writing at all- obviously they were not educators and they probably thought No Child Left behind was good legislation. And the signs- a plain, empty circle? I was really thankful for multiple choice.
During the 37 minutes it took me to take the test, in came 26 people and the computers went down. I had no idea what would happen since the computers were down. but lucky me, they came back on just as I went back to Dolly. I took that as a good sign that I would pass!
She graded my test and I missed 1 sign. A picture of a truck with a slash through it doesn't mean "trucks are bad"; it means unloading or something like that... I missed 2 on the written part. How many feet are you supposed to stay behind a car at night and keep your dims on- feet? FEET? I had no idea- I guessed poorly. The other one I missed was another feet/ yards question. I was just thrilled that I passed! Dolly told me I was brilliant! Well, you know... what can I say? Whew!!! I passed... Then she made me take another test- the eye test. I was practically hyperventilating at this point... I thought after all this, I wouldn't be able to see! But alas, I can drive, as long as I do it with glasses or contacts, which I've had as a restriction since I was 16 years old.
Next, I had to get my license picture. This was interesting because with the whole identify theft of people sweeping the nation, we are now basically having mug shots taken. I realize I have committed some criminal acts in the past *Please Trooper, don't take me in!* but I've never yet been arrested and after seeing my new picture, I never want to be! And my old picture was soooo cute! Anyway, I had to take my glasses off, and pull my hair off my forehead. I wasn't allowed to smile largely and no showing of teeth and I couldn't cock my head to the right like I'm prone to do in all my pictures. Yup- I'm sporting a Civilization license that resembles a mug shot. I knew I was too cute for prison...
It was an ordeal. I was overwhelmed. Something I thought would be easy turned into a situation that came out well! I sport a 6 year license, I'm a donor, I look like a criminal and I'm ready to drive- all for a mere $26.
Did I mention my Mocha Latte got cold during all of this? No wonder people hate the BMV!
Stay off the roads,
Maggie
But, my Civilization license expired on my birthday, so I have been driving on an illegal license for several months. In my defense, I didn't know it expired on my birthday in 2008; I legitimately thought I it expired in 2009.
Now, all that being said, one of the first things I wanted to do when I got home was get my ass to the BMV so I could renew it. But I had to wait until I received mail at my new address.
I get my mail, my Social Security card, and my old license and bebop down to the BMV. I had a book and a coffee- I laid in supplies for the long wait. I walk in the door and lo and behold I am the only person in there, other than 6 employees. And when is the last time you've seen happy BMV workers? They were happy- or at least no longer bored because I was a living, breathing person other than themselves.
I happen to get a clerk I'll call Dolly because she wanted to be Dolly Parton. At least I think she did by the hair. Her big hair. That same Dolly color- well, parts of it were the Dolly color. The fake super curly clip piece was the Dolly color and could've been purchased as a gen-u-ine Dolly Parton hairdo from Dollywood Gift Shoppe. Her original color was a sort of blond with smoke yellow highlights... But she seemed NICE!
She wasn't super bright either... but she was NICE! So I take a seat, give her my mail with my new address, my SS card, my old license (with the super CUTE picture of me!), and she smiles at me. I smile at her. She taps in the computer and then she frowns at me. I frown.
Dolly: "You have points on you're license."
Me: "Oh."
Dolly: "There are 6."
Me: "Oh."
Dolly: "You have to take the test."
Me: "What? Oh shit, are you kidding?" Uh, yes, I said Oh shit at the BMV. Loudly.
Dolly: *giggles* "Hunny" she said this and patted my hand- "Hunny, it's not so hard. I work here and almost failed, though."
I have test anxiety. I about stroked out right there in the middle of the BMV. What if I failed? I hadn't studied! I'm a teacher; I would never allow a person to take a test who didn't study! And I think I blurted that out because the next thing I know, Dolly is printing a test for me and telling me if I fail, I can come back and take it as many times as I want until I pass- it's free. Was that supposed to make me feel better? It didn't.
I take my test to the testing nook, under the watchful eye of Dolly, after being told I am NOT ALLOWED TO USE MY CELL PHONE while taking a test- what, did they think I would phone a friend? I read the directions- I could miss 6 written questions and 2 signs, and still pass. Six?!? If I missed 3 signs or more, I automatically failed. If I missed 7 written or more, I automatically failed. Well, that's reassuring, isn't it? I was not feeling BMV love, or Dolly love. But she sat behind her desk, smiling encouragingly, and doing a twiddle finger wave at me.
Like a good test taker, I read through all the questions first, I knew I had no time limit so I could take my time, I was breathing deeply and I found the answer key attached to the back of the test. Oh great. The answer key. now- I had the Good Angel in Manolos and the Bad Angel in Payless Pumps yakking in each ear... Manolos won and I gave Dolly the answers back- but it would've been really easy for me to NOT have done that!
So, I take the test and sweat. I'm thankful she didn't tell me I had to go to defensive driving school or take the driving part of my test. At question 8 I thought defensive driving school might not be so bad. At question 13 I thought I might be able to bribe a person who would be giving me the driving test. At question 22 I was ready to cry. At question 28 I was wondering if Daddy-O would loan me his bicycle. At question 32, I was plotting the murder of Sheriff Deputy Sam in the Wild West who gave me all the damn tickets that caused the points, and at question 37 I decided driving was overrated, walking would be good for me, and that the people who wrote this test knew nothing about test writing at all- obviously they were not educators and they probably thought No Child Left behind was good legislation. And the signs- a plain, empty circle? I was really thankful for multiple choice.
During the 37 minutes it took me to take the test, in came 26 people and the computers went down. I had no idea what would happen since the computers were down. but lucky me, they came back on just as I went back to Dolly. I took that as a good sign that I would pass!
She graded my test and I missed 1 sign. A picture of a truck with a slash through it doesn't mean "trucks are bad"; it means unloading or something like that... I missed 2 on the written part. How many feet are you supposed to stay behind a car at night and keep your dims on- feet? FEET? I had no idea- I guessed poorly. The other one I missed was another feet/ yards question. I was just thrilled that I passed! Dolly told me I was brilliant! Well, you know... what can I say? Whew!!! I passed... Then she made me take another test- the eye test. I was practically hyperventilating at this point... I thought after all this, I wouldn't be able to see! But alas, I can drive, as long as I do it with glasses or contacts, which I've had as a restriction since I was 16 years old.
Next, I had to get my license picture. This was interesting because with the whole identify theft of people sweeping the nation, we are now basically having mug shots taken. I realize I have committed some criminal acts in the past *Please Trooper, don't take me in!* but I've never yet been arrested and after seeing my new picture, I never want to be! And my old picture was soooo cute! Anyway, I had to take my glasses off, and pull my hair off my forehead. I wasn't allowed to smile largely and no showing of teeth and I couldn't cock my head to the right like I'm prone to do in all my pictures. Yup- I'm sporting a Civilization license that resembles a mug shot. I knew I was too cute for prison...
It was an ordeal. I was overwhelmed. Something I thought would be easy turned into a situation that came out well! I sport a 6 year license, I'm a donor, I look like a criminal and I'm ready to drive- all for a mere $26.
Did I mention my Mocha Latte got cold during all of this? No wonder people hate the BMV!
Stay off the roads,
Maggie
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