Home on the range... an oven's tale

Warning: this post contains lots of CAPITAL LETTERS, usually to represent my anger.

Our oven stopped working. It would act like it was going to heat and try to heat and then just not heat. This sucks. Of course this happens while Daddy-O is in Texas. I swear we weren't doing anything but trying to make frozen pizza!

I decided I was going to see if I could fix it before he got home because I didn't want to worry him if it was no big deal. I called the place where my parents bought the range (this is what we call the stove and oven unit as one big appliance) about 20 years ago. I was told that 1) it's probably dead because of the age and will have to get a whole new range; 2) I could try and throw the breakers and shut it down for 20 minutes so the electronic panel has a chance to reset; 3) they could see if they could order parts and not have to buy a whole new range. We shut down the breakers and that did not resurrect it. The range is dead. The burners work- sorta (I'll get to that) but the oven is dead.

So I thought I'd call and see how much parts were and if it could be replaced. I also told Daddy-O, who was not mad at us for killing the oven.

Oh, and the oven in question is an electric, ceramic, flattop Jenn Air.

So last Monday morning I called to see if THE STOVE COMPANY still had my parent's records and could order a part. Mr. Asshole who owns THE STOVE COMPANY told me they don't sell ranges any more and didn't have the records and the part would be so expensive a new range would be cheaper- he didn't even let me tell him WHAT PART I NEEDED!!!!!!!!!! I said I would at least like to know how much the part is going to cost and he said I would have to call Earl (he does outsourced range service work apparently) to make a house call to see what was wrong with it. I told him again what the error message was flashing on the electric panel and what it needed and he said I could be wrong and he didn't want to look for a part without Earl's say-so, and he said by the time Earl came to see what was wrong and the part was bought and then installed it, a new range was cheaper. He did NOT want to help me. And he was rude and snotty to me the entire time. I was so pissed.

After I hung up I decided I would figure this out myself. I went online to find out what the name of the part was and I found it. I also called Jenn Air customer service and they told me good news and bad news. The good news is that if that's the error message then 99.9% of the time, that is the part I need. The bad news is that because that range is so old, the don't have that part but for them to be accurate they needed a make and model number, and told me where on the range I could find it. Well, I hunted that thing over and couldn't find it. Stumped.

So, not to be a woman to be undone...

The next day I called another business in town that sells ranges. I got a salesman named Dave THE OTHER OVEN STORE and told him what Mr. Asshole at THE STOVE COMPANY said and Dave said if the part is available there is no way it's going to cost $1400 since to replace the range is about $1500!!! He said it won't be anywhere near that much for a part. He also said if the error message is matching the book and the web site online, then that's correct. Furthermore, Dave said since I can't find the number myself, he'll run up to the house and look really quickly and will NOT charge me a service call to find a model number! He said if he can get the part in, they will come and install it (a service call is $80) so it will be $80 plus the cost of the part. AND he was NICE! AND not rude!!!! And I told him the story of dealing with Mr. Asshole who was a jerk and rude and I would NEVER do business there again until he died. Maybe. Dave at THE OTHER OVEN STORE laughed a lot.

So Dave came to the house and found the number and then hunted for the parts because the error message says 2 different parts are in need of replacing and these 2 parts work in tandem but because the range is old, there are no parts at part stores, or wherever they look for parts (I called Jenn Air myself and they told me the same thing). He said if I wanted to find one somewhere on the Internet I can and he can give me the part number. Dave also said if I find one, they will put it in for me. The extra bad news is that while Dave said they could come put in the parts, they're usually non-returnable/ non-refundable so if they parts don't work I can't send them back so Daddy-O would be out the parts and labor money and still have the cost of the new range he'd would need to get since the parts didn't work. Dave wouldn't fathom a guess on whether or not the replacement parts would work because of the age of the range. He said he was sorry he didn't have better news and wishes he could help.

He was really helpful and nice and sorry!!!!! Mr. Asshole should take customer service lessons from Dave!!!!

So I tell all this to Daddy-O who decides he's going to see if he can buy a new range in Texas at a chain store we have hear. Ya'll might've hear of a little appliance place called Sears. He felt he should buy from Dave but Daddy-O isn't home for 10 more days and thought he could get one new and have it installed and stuff before he got home. Uhhhh, not! He bought a replacement and it won't be here until 2/27-- YIKES!

In the meantime, I have to cook using the George Foreman Party Time Grill, the toaster oven and the microwave. (With this nice weather I might lug out the gas grill and make up some burgers and dogs!!!). You might be wondering why I don't use the burners since, technically the stove works. Wellllllllllllll.... because......... it BEEPS!!!!!!!

For no reason at all, when we use the burner, the oven senors feels "heat" and it beeps. An beeps and beeps and beeps and beeps and will not stop for hours on end. I can stand there and press the button to make it stop and it will just start up again. Over and over and over again. For HOURS.

The other day the stove and oven had been off 3 days and I walked through the kitchen and it started beeping FOR NO REASON. I am so freaked out. I actually left the house for 2 hours because the beeping will not stop. Then suddenly Mac or I can hit the button and it stops. But it's random and worse than Chinese water torture. I think Daddy-O should sell the defective range to the CIA and they can use it to torture prisoners, if they did that sort of thing (yes, I snorted).

So from now until Feb. 27 we have no oven and for all intrinsic purposes, no stove top either. This is a good time to start my diet: yogurt, salad, microwaved chicken boobs, rice, oatmeal, cereal.

But the new range is gonna ROCK (these are good caps!)!!! I'm gonna bake and casserole my butt off when it gets here!

No longer looking for an excuse to not cook,
Maggie