I have been personally struggling with the questions this blogger posted. This last year has been rough and great and full of excitement, heartbreak, pain, work, play, joy, and disappointments. It's been sorrows and surprises. Ups and downs. The good, the bad and the ugly...You get my drift. But I think about these things. Maybe too much life change, maybe too much age 39 staring at 40, or maybe too much wanderlust and romance with life's journeys going unfulfilled. But I wonder what my verse will be. And this fellow blogger got me thinking.
This blogger wrote:
What is the worst thing you have ever done in your life? What is the best? What will your legacy be when you are gone? When fate forces the issue, where do you stand? Do you care? Does it matter?
I know the worst thing I've ever done and a very, very small handful of people know about it. I hope it's not what I am always remembered as. I think of the worst as being regrets. I try to have few. I have about 3-4 and I'm 39. That's not a bad list, right? I only have a regret if it's a 'situation' where I walked away and I still feel negative about it and it can't be fixed or changed. That's what leaves me with a regret. Everything else, well, I may have done things I'm not proud of but I made a choice and I did those things and that shapes who I am. I learned a lesson and walked away being a better person. (Sometimes drunker or "stupider" but in the end, better).
The best thing I think I've done is Mac. Nothing can be better than his mere existence. But will "mom" be my verse? We all wear many hats. I teach so I know some kids might remember me as that witch who gave them an F or as that cool English teacher who made Shakespeare fun. I'm a friend, a daughter, a sister, etc. BUT I'm a mom- Mac will forever be part of who I am and what I did in life. I write so my words on paper shall live longer than I, whether they are read by anyone other than friends and family is yet to be seen (other than bloggers of course). Are the hats I wear the things that define my verse? The question is posed that do I care how I'm remembered? Well, I'll be dead so I'll be past caring but... Okay, seriously. Do I care- yes. By Mac, yes. Anyone else...yes. I would love to say, no but it does matter. But what Mac remembers is the most important; he's what matters.
The blogger goes on to write:
Will people love you or hate you? I never thought anyone would hate me but now I can count at least one. I earned the enmity but it is still hard to swallow. I have done some good things in my life. That should count for something.
I'm sure there's someone out there who hates me (I've worked in education for more than 10 years. SOMEONE hates me. I have trouble keeping my mouth shut and my opinions to myself, again so I'm sure someone does! And I have an ex-husband. 'Nuff said there.). I don't know who, but I'm sure I've made enemies- no one has told me to my face they hate me, but hey, I'm not totally likable so there's got to be someone. I've done good things in my life and I hope I am remembered by those rather than by one act/deed/word that I did/uttered that was wrong.
The blogger further says:
But as this night falls my legacy has little of good in it. I used to live my life as if every day would be my lasting legacy to the world. Every day I had to do something that would make the world a little better than when I found it... I ask: what are the best and worst things you have done? Do they balance out?
There is some credence here. I think we should live each day as if it's our last. I'd like to think the good I have done does balances out the bad, but the last year has made me wonder.
This other guy's blog post certainly was food for thought. I know I want to be remembered as a fun, happy person who made others smile, created a beautiful boy child, smiled often, followed her whims and heart, was true to herself, laughed too loudly, cried too easily, loved passionately and deeply, and maybe touched someone.
So, I ask you again, what will your verse be?
Maggie
And PLEASE feel free to vote for me here:
Very thoughtful post, Maggie. It really makes you think. Good for you for pondering it. Happy Sunday.
ReplyDeleteMermaid Debbie
WOW! That's a lot to think about. Beautifully written. I have no idea what my verse would be. I think that if you were asking someone what your verse would be, it would be different for every person that you asked, because everyone sees you differently. I see you as a very giving, fun loving person.
ReplyDeleteMaggie,
ReplyDeleteI so loved this post. I read every word and it also has my wheels spinning. It is great food for thought. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to take another look at myself and try to be the best I can be each day.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Cathy
Debbie- thank so much. Some days my brain kicks it in gear and I can't stop thinkin'.
ReplyDeleteCurly- thank you so much. And I like that idea, that your verse would vary person to person. That is what I was driving at but couldn't get the words out- thanks for YOUR eloquent summation.
Cathy- wow. thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed this post.
Maggie, this is some real food for thought. I will have to think about this and determine the answers. Thanks for sharing yours.
ReplyDeleteOff to read your PS post!
XO,
Sheila :-)
Magpie Shelia- I hope you like your answers! Glad I could stimulate the brain.
ReplyDelete