Self pity alert because of the Week from hell or "what did I do in a previous life to deserve all this?"

This has been one of the worst weeks I can remember in a long, long time. Here's why:

Curly's dad died. He was just diagnosed two weeks ago with a brain tumor and now he's gone. I feel so sad for Curly and her family; I wish there was something I could do or say to make her feel better, but there's nothing, of course. I've lost a parent so I can empathize but still... there's nothing I can do.

AlaskaSam had a "pretty severe heart attack" according to his email. Then today he had a heart cath to see the extent of the damage. He's there and I'm here and there's nothing I can do. Nothing except wait to see what emails and texts I get. I can't imagine what the world would be like for me if he's not in it, even though we're a bajillion miles apart and have all the other issues. But I feel sick and scared and worried and it's hard to breathe. He can't die.

Those were the important things. This week had so many 'little' things which are the things that are usually the straws that break the camels' proverbial backs, right? So I had little things...

On Wednesday night the brakes in my car gave out. Thank the gods for XRayGirl's husband who took my whole car apart and put new ones one at a moment's notice. Free labor, cost of parts only, plus 1 peach cobbler.

My ATM card didn't work Friday morning which meant I had to put back my coffee, danish and Mac's breakfast. I was so happy I didn't get fuel because that would've been a disaster. So I panicked at work all day long, worrying I had overdrawn somehow and it was going to be $30 per bounce. So after work I went straight to the bank and I had a balance of 93 cents. I was so happy I cried.

And speaking of money, I got my first check from the new school and it's very small. We don't even want to look at the list of things I need to pay for like graduation stuff, senior stuff, sports stuff, bills, and other miscellany that are too numerous to mention. I can't even afford my annual physical or my BCpill renewal, which I'm sure is causing my hormones to be completely outta whack.

And speaking of health... I've awakened daily with a headache in the same place and it's excruciating. I take a ton of aspirin and it's gone my mid morning but it still scares me, all things considered this week. (No, I'm not a hypochondriac)

My cell phone stopped working, just randomly stopped. After work I called Verizon Wireless and the stupid jerk in customer service department needs to be fired. I told him what was wrong with my phone AND I mentioned that others I knew said there were tower problems. He informed me there were no tower problems and I was shut off for non-payment. He then sent me to financial services. The guy in FS said the customer service guy was wrong; this dude had on the screen right in front of him that my bill was fine. So he sent me to technical services. The techie guy said there were outages all over the place and it wasn't my device or the billing. He was nice and kind. He also gave me a day credit AND said I should be back up by Friday night. (I wasn't, by the way...) He said if I don't have service by noon today, I need to call back. At least I know the phone itself isn't broken and that it wasn't a payment issue.

Work sucks. My boss is a terror. Most of the kids are as bad. I have no idea how to do 8th grade math and make T charts (what the hell does a T chart have to do with y-intercepts is beyond me...) and because I can't do it, the other aide has to help and she's mad at me because I can't help my own students. She was my only Allie and now she's pissed. Great.

I was late to work twice this week- two days in a row, as a matter of fact- because I got stuck behind a school bus once and stopped by a train the next time.

Mac is having issues at school, which seem to always trickle down to good old mom and I can't fix anything for him. And I just have to put up with the crap attitude.

And it spit snow today for about an hour. It didn't stick but I think that means it's now officially cold. And ick. And wintery. Brrrrrrr!

That's the list. All of this since.... Wednesday. I can't take anymore.

I don't even think Calgon could take me away,
Maggie