Age

Curley was downright mean to me last night. She said, "You're almost 40." I couldn't believe she had the nerve to point that out. I told her i was taking my toys and going home. I told her she might as well tell me I have ugly shoes and my butt looks big in these pants! Almost 40 years old! That cheeky girl. I'm only 38!

Okay, no I'm not really mad at her, I swear. And I guess, I know, that 38 is closer to 40 than what I would like to admit. Ewww!

I've been thinking a lot about age lately, maybe because Mac is going to be 17 in nine days or because there's a man I have an interest in (more about him later!) who's a bit older than I am. Or because I'm almost 40 and this isn't where I wanted to be in my life. It could be any of these things, I suppose, that makes me think of age of late.

Age is interesting, with the limits it sets. For example, Mac wanted to go to Vegas for this 18th birthday because he thought he was going to be old enough to gamble. The legal gambling age in Vegas is 21. He can buy a lottery ticket in the state where were live at age 18 but no gambling in Vegas. He kept banging on about how he would be old enough at age 18 to vote and to be drafted but he couldn't drink or gamble, none of the fun stuff. I reminded him he had a whole year to wait before doing any of those milestone things.

I also think adding to the age thinking thoughts is because Mac is looking at colleges. My baby is looking at universities! How did that happen!?!

I have to keep reminding myself that age is a state of mind- how old do you want me to be? How old do I feel? Sometimes I feel like I'm 17, other times 25 and other times... 101.

One of my favorite movies of all time, When Harry Met Sally, has Sally in tears talking about getting married and kids and time running out. She says to Harry, "And I'm going to be 40." He says, "When?" Sally: "Someday!" He then goes on to point out she'll be 40 in eight years. I used to think that scene was hilarious! I also used to remember when I was 32 and could say that! For some reason, now it doesn't seem nearly as hysterically funny as it used to...

One upside to my age is that asshat fucktard Sperm Donor turned 48 yesterday. He will always be older than me and if his health stays the way it is- poor- and mine the way it is- good, except for the teeth- he'll die before me.

But really! I have my best friend point out that I'm almost 40! I thought I should start counting backwards on my next birthday; I say that all the time, though and for some reason no one else ever seems to remember I'm taking younger birthdays, rather than older ones.

However, this is a week to feel young no matter what. It's spring break! I don't have to go to school. There is something about being on spring break, specifically, that makes me feel young. No trips are planned for me or anything that would involve Florida and beaches, but the idea that I, like most kids (and other teachers) in America, have a whole week off, is awesome. This is a week to feel young!

Even if Curley thinks I'm going to be 40... soon...
Maggie Mae