The story of the annual date

I had my annual date. I call it an annual date because in 2009 I had a date in January, saw the guy for 2.5 weeks in March and that was it as far as dates went for the entire year (okay I had some super sweet phone dates, but at this point, with the dating drought I'm in, I'm counting traditional dates only!). I've decided it was setting a precedent so I've had my annual date for 2010 and got that out of the way. And there won't be another at this rate.

The story as to how the date came along is a long one so I won't bore you with the details, even though some of you know them. This was not someone I knew before, not an ex, not a platonic friend becoming something else, but a stranger that seemed nice and, in the end, asked me to dinner. But I went with this Sam to Applebees for dinner on Friday night. It was... nice. That's it. No zing, no fireworks, no butterflies or toe curling. He was nice.

I couldn't keep the conversational ball rolling and he wasn't one for talking lots. There were long pregnant pauses that were uncomfortable for me since he would just sit and stare at me.

I want to say that he's nice. He was nice. So because he's nice and I'm who I am, I sound like a bitch but certainly don't mean to be at all.

I wanted to be engaged in witty repartee, a rousing intellectual discussion, or be dazzled with a charismatic sense of humor. And that's three strikes. He wasn't very funny but he tried to be. He wasn't dumb but we didn't connect intellectually. And that conversational ball was hard to keep moving, as I said. We had next to nothing in common at all.

I also learned from a few good sources that he, at age 31, had never been on a date in his life until he went out with me on Friday night. That's a little... strange.

Did I mention he tried really really really hard? I even thought I would go out with him again if he asked but I wasn't sure what we could talk about at all. That's how hard this was. But since he was so nice I didn't want to be so mean so I thought I would give it one more shot.

I have to say I've had better times with Mac, with XRayGirl, with Lilith, with Curley, with Daddy-O, tutoring Kool, with my blog friends online... you know what I mean? I've certainly had better dates (as I wrote about earlier last week), and I've had worse for sure, but this was just... there. I actually had more fun talking to the guy who was taking my order when I called Pizza Hut the other night! (In all seriousness he could be a potential date since he's single...! Ah, but alas, I had my annual date already.)

And things took a turn for the weird yesterday afternoon. This Sam from the Applebees date Friday night called me but didn't leave a message. He texted me later. And since I don't like texting because I can't multi-task I called him back while I was running errands. After exchanging pleasantries, I said I was returning his call. He said his 6- year-old niece wanted to talk to me. I asked what she wanted. (Does anyone other than Xray Girl and me think this is weird???) He said she wanted to tell me she didn't want her Uncle Sammy to have a girlfriend and I should go away.

Insert screeching brake sound here!!!

WTF?!? I laughed an awkward laugh and then he went on to say that he thought it was time for me to meet his mother.

Insert me running, screaming from the room, and a screeching brake sound here!!!

I decided then and there I was not going to meet his mother and that the niece was right, uncle Sammy didn't need a girlfriend, or if he did it was NOT going to be this girl at all. YIKES! I managed to get off the phone and then took several calming breaths and laughed my ass off at my weird luck with men and how much they are all freaking crazy.

Tomorrow I am going to call him, or wait for him to call me, and then I'm going to be nice, but honest. I'm going to tell him I enjoyed my time on Friday night but after thinking over the weekend, I'm not interested. It's me, not you. Thank you for the attention, good luck in your future, and have a nice life. I might even use those exact words.

Actually, speaking of words, I was telling XRayGirl about this. I said I should tell him that I swim in the big dating pool with grown up boys; I don't stand on the edge of the wading pool wearing floaties. She said I could use that analogy if I wanted but he wouldn't get it and would think I was asking him on a swimming date to the local Y, and he would borrow his niece's floaties... too funny!

So, there's the story of my annual date! I'll let you know how the "leave me alone" phone call goes. Wait, would it be tacky to do it via text?

Stayin' Single,
Maggie Mae