Sometimes I want to shut off my brain

After yesterday's moving and riveting post about rice which had a Seinfeld-esque quality about it (which I have to tell ya was impressive, if I do say so myself. Who knew I could say so much about rice? And I had no intention of writing about rice when I started. I WAS going to write about all the food my dad ate but hated and stuff I couldn't fix unless I wanted to eat it alone and sometime I hopped a rickshaw to rice... go figure.) I thought I should give you peek inside my head. You want to know why I can write about rice??? Well...

Sometimes I wish I could stop thinking. I wish I could assume the brain power, like a switch to turn on and off at will, of a junior high school student. They seem to be able to "not think" on a whim. Why can't I do that?

I just can't stop thinking. Sometimes I just want to lay in front of the tv and watch mindless entertainment or a movie, to just do nothing mentally. I have the physical ability to do nothing pretty well down pat but I can't seem to get a handle on the letting my brain rest part.

Thoughts I've had today in the five minute period before I ever got out of bed:

• I hate my alarm clock and wish all alarm clocks would malfunction so no one would get blamed for being late to work if every clock in the world simultaneously stopped working.
• I'm subbing for Emotionally Disturbed kids today and I'll blend right in.
• I'm glad it's Friday and I can wear jeans.
• Can I wear jeans to a funeral? Probably not. Who cares?
  
• What the hell is wrong with Trooper? He married and divorced 2 women who were whack jobs and I seem like royalty by comparison yet he has no clue what to do with me on a long term basis... he does have some ideas on a short term...
  
• sex: haven't had any, wonder if I'll have any again, sex this year has been a low point of my year so far, sex this year has resembled putting a marshmallow in a parking meter, and I'm trying to decide it being celibate is better than bad sex?
• the weather: there are bad weather patterns that should be named as some sort of storm and people are going to be hurt because they think it's just rain but this is happening about 1000 miles from me but I'm still worried
• Will Teen Jeopardy ever be over? And where do these Stepford Students come from?
  
• Why is Mac so moody? Why does he insist on wearing his pajamas out of the house rather than jeans like a normal kid?
• What's up with Charlie Sheen's hair? It looks tall this season. And Two and a Half Men was funnier when he was single so I hope he gets rid of Chelsea, who had great tits.
• I can't stop thinking about religion since I read AJ Jacob's The Year of Living Biblically. I would like to stop think Bible and God thoughts. Furthermore, is it weird that when I read that book I got out 4 Bibles and decided to buy my own book so I could highlight important passages? And I like that my brain is challenged but now it needs to stop. And The Year of Living Biblically book is gonna get a blog post or 2 or 3 here as well and now I wonder if I could be a Jew...
  
• I gained weight. I'm fat. I want to lose weight but I still eat Oreos. Often.
  
• I worry CONSTANTLY about money and money and money.
  
• I'm excited for Christmas but scared of the cost. And of snow.
  
• I'm tired all the time. It could be because of the stress, depression or the weight gain. Or my tooth ache, which I have all the time since I broke a tooth.
• And why aren't House reruns on every night, just some nights?
• I hate Verizon Wireless. HATE.
  
• I worry my car is going to die
• My insurance payment is late (again) and I work at an insurance company, I want to be one of those people who could pay for three months but I can't afford to buy coffee.

This is just a sampling of what went on in my head, all before I even got out of bed. These thoughts just randomly smacked around in there, like pop-up ads. I don't want to shut off my head indefinitely but just for a few hours a day that doesn't involve sleeping (though I don't think my brain shuts off when I sleep considering stuff I'm thinking when my eyes open... yikes!)

And you wonder why I can write a whole blog post on rice?
Maggie