My dad has a cousin who died about a year ago. She was young, in her 40s, and she died of cancer. Daddy-O and I are "distant" cousins of sorts to this family. Apparently there was some bad blood between her and her immediate family, which her widower has sorta spilled over to ALL of us in the family.
So almost a year has passed and she's finally got a headstone and her ashes are buried. She buried where her mom is, and where a bunch of our family has been laid to rest. Daddy-O and I went to the cemetery to see, and since she's buried where my grandparents are at (Daddy-O's folks) we thought we could just do a check on the family.
We find her plot and she has a lovely headstone, and is buried just a few feet away from my grandparents and from her mom. BUT........ her mom's headstone was gone. Yup, gone. As in, no longer there, just the slab but no marker. Weird, right?
Daddy- O and I brainstormed possible ideas: vandalism, weather, new stone, more engraving, weird tombstone thief cum hoarder... various possibilities. But we didn't know the headstone would be missing so it was a little worrisome. We figured there was some logical explanation but we just weren't sure what that might be.
Daddy-O emailed some cousins to see if anyone had a clue. We didn't want to email the family and freak them completely out if they were clueless to the whereabouts of said stone.
I, often being of that Nancy Drew ilk, decided to just call the sexton and see if he/she knew anything. WELL! Did she ever! I just want to give advise to everyone- apparently there isn't any of family of the dead and sexton confidentiality rule, no dead person HIPPA stuff because she gave me an earful.
She said the headstone was removed by my dead aunt's husband and we to not be returned until the daughter was buried. The sexton gossip queen implied that it was because the new widower might do damage to his dead mother-in-law's grave marker because of all the ill family will. Holy beejeezus!
This is NOT some wacko group of rednecks. These are well educated, well moneied people who wouldn't stoop to such things. This isn't a Hatfields and McCoy's fight. Ugh, what a mess.
An interesting story, but certainly a sad mess, really. I bet everyone that this would matter too is rolling over in their collective graves, marked or not.
Mags
1 comment:
How sad. AT least you found out that the stone will be replaced at some point. I think I would put a hidden camera out there somewhere though, just in case something weird happens.
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