Saturday, October 22, 2011


So, I'm going pants shopping. This may not seems like a big deal to some but to me it's a huge issue. I need dress pants. I found jeans that work for me and I'm good at buying jeans, but dress trousers are a whole other kettle of fish.

I have a tiny waist, broad hips, junk in the trunk, and heavy thighs. I have long legs but am short waisted. Buying pants is a nightmare. I have to buy pants at a Plus Size clothing store so the price is always higher, too.

I can't wear the wide leg trousers because I feel like my legs look like stumps- because of my thighs. I usually need to get my pants in a "tall". There's usually a huge gap in the back because of my waist. UGH!

But I NEED dress slacks for work. That's all there is too it. I had a pair of black and brown pants that I've had for about 10 years and the butt is shiny on one pair- from all the use- and the other pair now has holes. My other pair of blank pants accidentally got dried and shank so they look like I'm waiting for a flood. (These I'm going to shorten to Capris and wear with boots this winter, though.) I have 3 pair of cotton pants but I really hate the way the look and the way they fit. I wear them because I have nothing else. They also have cargo pockets and I don't think that looks dressy.

I have lots of skirts but it does get cold and I like pants. I love the look of skirts and tights but I have to be honest here: I've gained some weight and some skirts don't fit right. AND almost every skirt I own is a summer, flouncy, twirly skirt. So, if I have to invest in some bottom wear clothing, I'm going with pants because of the need for "warmth in a Midwest Winter" factor.

Usually I'm a bit of a bohemian when I dress but my friend Photographer is not. And she's lost around 50+ pounds with Weight Watchers and has gifted me her clothes, as I've previously mentioned in other posts. And only the tops have fit. And these are NICE things. Many with price tags still on. And they look nice on me. But nothing is very bohemian.

I do have this pair of trousers that are a lovely shade of gray and look nice on me. But when I wear those, I always pair them with a lovely blouse and a cardigan sweater. And pearls. I feel like I'm in a costume, ready to go trick-or-treating as Junior League Member. Or a Daughter of the Young Republicans. Or Daughter of the Revolution.... you get my drift. I look very.... conservative, sorta like Sarah Palin but without the guns and the stupid.

Now don't get me wrong. I look nice. Really nice. I get very complimented the days I dress like that. I even make sure I coif my hair and I demure. It's totally a part I play. And now with all of Photographer's "conservative" clothes, I feel like I should buy more "grown up" trousers.

So, I need pants, I have a little bit of money to buy some clothes, I have a coupon at my favorite Plus Size store, AND I have a plan. I just hope I can FIND something. But FINDING is for another blog post.

Or I can do what I always do when I can't find pants.... buy shoes.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Random thoughts, and a conversation

I signed up for three months of yoga class and I still haven't made it to one yet. Thank goodness there are 2.5 months left.

I hope Zi-Cam saves me from a cold because kids are coughing and sneezing all over the place.

Channel locks and vice grips are NOT the same thing.

I miss the Wild West... their winters and their sunsets.

I've had it planned for 2 weeks for the Art Club kids to carve pumpkins next week. A fellow teacher came in today with a GREAT IDEA for Art Club. Gee, she said I should have them carve pumpkins. Gee, I already have the pumpkins ordered and a "Pimp Your Pumpkin" flier already printed.

I'm making a new collection... of pints of and Ben and Jerry's ice cream in my freezer. They have my name on them. In my freezer.

Conversation I had with a student:
student: I hate taking communion.
me: really?
student: Yeah. I bet the disciples went hungry.
me: uhhh, why's that?
student: well, if all you ate for a meal was a crumb of bread and a shot of grape juice you'd be hungry too.
me: well, it's not supposed to be a meal... and what does it have to do with disciples, exactly?
student: well, the bread and booze was the Last Supper. Is that why prisoners on death row get a good meal? Because Jesus's last one sucked?
me: *blink, blink*
Me: uhh, I think you're a little confused. The Bread and wine was not served as the Last Supper.
Student: are you sure?
me: uhhhh, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
student: then why do we eat bread and wine at church?
me: because it's a symbol of Christ, of His sacrifice for mankind. the bread represents his body and the wine his blood.
student: oh. Well, what did they eat at the Last Supper?
me: I don't know.
student: tacos. Jesus is a Mexican name so it was probably tacos.
At this point, I didn't say a word. Sometimes it pays to just be quiet.


Monday, October 17, 2011

40. Watch a classic Christmas movie I've never watched

I watched White Christmas and it's cute. I have no idea how I made it 40 years without seeing this wonderful, quaint and funny musical.

In summary:
Bob and Phil team up to become a song-and-dance act (think vaudeville) after they leave the Army, post WWII. They meet a team of beautiful sisters, Betty and Judy, who also have a song-and-dance act. Betty and Judy go to a Vermont lodge to perform a Christmas show, the guys follow. There they find their former Army General, Gen. Waverly to be the owner of the financially failing lodge. They all stay to help to try to rejuvenate the business and in the midst of all that romance and comedy ensue.

I love when the guys help the girls out of a situation and end up doing the girls' song and dance routine: "Sisters." It was hilarious! Of course, the costumes were lush and the music is to die for. The dancing is fantastic. And who doesn't love Irving Berlin's famous Bing Crosby crooning "White Christmas"?

This was worth watching and I might have to just watch it again, when it's actually part of the Christmas season. Who knows- I could start a new tradition and watch it each year, I liked it so much!


Sunday, October 16, 2011

New out look on '40 before 40'

Some of you might have noticed that I've changed the title of the 40 things to do before I was 40. Yes, now they are things to do in my 40th year instead.

I didn't get them all done before I turned 40 but I'm just not ready to give up on all 40 items. So I'm giving myself until I turn 41 to do them.

And I've been editing the list as I go along. I discovered I've never driven a go-cart. I live in the frickin' Midwest where we have as many go-carts as cars and I've never been on one. So, I added that to the list. I've also never been to a drive-in movie on a date. I might add that next summer, if I'm feeling like it. Or if I'm dating. I don't want to add any MORE pressure to myself!

So. I'm sticking to it. I plan on working a bit harder at these things this winter. We shall see what I can do.

The cool thing: so far I've done some things more than once like take a scrapbook class and more yoga. See, I did something for the first time and enjoyed it enough and will keep doing it! Now how awesome, for me!

And if all goes according to plan, I'll be crossing off something else this week: seeing a live show of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This list can only make me like age 40 better because I've been 40 years old for about 3 weeks and these have been some of the crappiest weeks of my life so I am unimpressed with my foray into the forties. Feh. It can only look up.

People say being Forty is: Fun! Fabulous! Fantastic! So, being Forty is supposed to be some big F-ing deal?


Saturday, October 15, 2011

A little fall colour...

I do this every year, go out and take pictures of autumn leaves & then post them here. Enjoy our Midwest Fall Rainbow!


Friday, October 14, 2011

I'm so busy my head is spinning

Months can go by and I have nothing on my calendar other than "movie" or "pick up Mac" or "grocery store". But this month my social calendar is full, as is work.

I have a ticket to see My Fair Lady, a touring Broadway show here in my local theater. I might also be seeing our local theater groups production of The Music Man. I'm going to a Halloween showing of The Rockey Horror Picture Show, which I've never done before so I guess I'm in for a real 'experience.'

Tomorrow is the annual chili cook off festival and a craft fair that's the largest in our tri-state area; I love to go to that with friends and family and won't miss it! I also took a card making class at Archivers- which was FUN even though one of my cards looks like my Wise Men's camels had teats rather than fringe- did I mention I hate using heat embossing? (Pictures will be forth coming)

I'm helping Photographer make 100 ghost cake pops for something she got roped into at school. I'm also co-hosting a book club meeting with her on Tuesday, at MY library. It's a 2-fold thing: book club and maybe get some donors. I have a yoga class. I'm meeting Lilith next week for an evening of girlfriend fun! Mac is home this weekend for his fall break and he, Princess and I are going to the orchard on Sunday, to pick our own pumpkins and then come to the house to grill out and watch a movie.

Not to mention I have to work my part time receptionist job this weekend, I'm co-chairing our Prom which we have next month so I have lots of prom meetings, art club meeting since I'm sponsoring that, gathering items and editing the literary club magazine (yes I am chairing that, too), substitute teaching on Fridays, AND I work in the library, too. Oh yeah, I almost forgot my regular job in there.

And Halloween.

Yes, this is all just in October.

I was supposed to attend a family member's memorial service but that was postponed, and I was supposed to go to a re-enactment festival but Curley and I bailed on that due to traffic, bees, heat, and nothing new that we haven't seen before. And that's only what was crossed off the list!

Somewhere in here I have to do laundry. And I have a BF who likes lots of attention.

I like a busy schedule but to me, this even feels a little ridiculous; I wish it could've been stretched out over a few months but I'm looking into November and it doesn't seem much better, in all honesty.

At least I'll have lots to blog about!

Head above water so far,

Monday, October 10, 2011

Stop and smell the flowers

I actually wrote 3 blog posts by hand, on paper, over the weekend but haven't had a moment to sit down and type them up, so you get some of these "last of the summer flowers" pictures.

Happy Monday!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Love some 'new' clothes! And I didn't even have to shop.

My friend the Photographer is on Weight Watchers and is doing a great job. She was wearing size 22 and is now a 14/16, depending on how the clothes fit her.

I've been really blessed because as she looses the weight, she gives me her clothes. She and I carry our weight completely differently. She has no butt and skinny legs and I have a BOOTY and have some weight in my thighs. We both have it in the belly. I have broad shoulders and large boobs and she had to have a breast reduction several years ago for medical reasons, one being that she has narrow shoulders.

Anyway, I can wear most of her tops. And almost all her skirts. It's wonderful- my wardrobe has grown exponentially.

So SHE has a friend who is also on Weight Watchers and that friend went from a 24 to a 12. This friend gave Photographer all her clothes- 8 trash bags of clothes! It was like Christmas came early tonight.

I went to Photographer's house and we went through all the bags and I took what I liked that fit me, and she took what she liked and fit her. I got a 30 gallon bag, overstuffed with clothes... all tops. Because not a single pair of jeans or trousers fit me. I have tons of sweaters, shirts, t-shirts, polos, sweatshirts, dressy, casual... tops of all kinds and not a single pair of pants. Photographer, on the other hand, found all pants that fit her.None of the tops. We decided her friend had my upper body and her lower body. Well.... had because she's now a 12. And we reaped the benefits of her weight loss.

It's pretty awesome, too, because all her clothes are nice! Now, I own nice clothes from a boutique but I do not have a problem with wearing stuff from Wally World or Big K or Meijer. All these clothes came from exclusive boutiques, nice department stores, and are all well known name brands. Nice stuff. Not kidding- I probably got about $1500 on clothes today, for free.

I love it! I hate that I'm overweight but it's really nice to have some "new" clothes! My friends and I always laugh that when one of us is losing weight another one gains- this time I'm gaining a wardrobe!

The clothes horse,

Monday, October 3, 2011

No Havest Party for this girl!

I think changing Halloween celebrations in schools to Harvest parties is stupid. There. I said it. It infuriates me that some closed minded dorks can't cope with the idea of Halloween. Oh, I think if little Johnny in 1st grade came home and told his mom that at the school Halloween party they sacrificed a live virgin, held a seance to contact a dead principal and drank the blood of a goat, I might raise my eyebrows--- and realize this had nothing to do with Halloween. But kids in ghost costumes are forbidden? No skull decorations because they're the sign of the devil? Plu-eeze!

What got me thinking about this is I'm decorating the school library for Halloween. Now, I work at facility for youth where they've been court ordered. We're just one step away from prison/ jail. We are also a very CHRISTIAN facility. I work in the PUBLIC school library. I have to consider I'm in a public school that's strictly for highly at risk youth in a Christian setting. Oh yeah, don't I just fit so well there?

Anyway! I'm trying to decorate and someone mentioned that I couldn't have Halloween decorations because it's "not Christian." I seriously bit my tongue and summoned all my will power to keep my mouth shut. And I wished I could've channeled Lilith!

Normally when faced with a comment like that, the first thing I want to do is buck the system. Of course. I know, I'm officially 40 years old and I still want to rebel at the first sign of being pushed- you'd think I'd outgrow it but still to no avail. And normally I think it's far easier to ask for, or even beg for, forgiveness rather than to ask for permission. But since I had already pissed off people about Banned Book Week (this will be an upcoming post!), I just thought, "Screw it" and I asked my principal.

And he didn't care if I decorated for Halloween, he didn't care what sort of decorations as long as they weren't "gross" and were "tasteful", and he didn't care if I called it Halloween. He asked me to not use skulls because that's a campus wide rule. So, HA!

I've been making Halloween happen. I have jack-o-lantern window clings, and spider webs, with spider rings. I have a bulletin board dedicated to our authors of the month: Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King. I have a pumpkin full of candy. We have a scarecrow and tombstones. I'm working on table top lanterns with battery operated candles. We have a Raven, a'la Poe. I'm even planning a Poe presentation and a little bit of information about All Hallow's Eve.

So I'm gonna Halloween it up! And I plan on going in costume on the appropriate day! I thought about wearing a costume a day, or least a variety of masks and hats daily but I think I'll wait and do that the week before and on the Big Day. I think I'm even going to see if I can host a Halloween Library Party on Oct. 31.

Any chance to eat candy, wear a tiara in public, and rebel against Big Brother!

Nothing mild mannered about this librarian,

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The "How Girlie Are You" Quiz

Last night I went shopping, by accident. I think only a woman would ever do that. I went to Wal-Mart for one thing: silver crackle nail polish. And they were out. I knew the Wally World in the next town over had about 40 bottles of the stuff, so ITSam and I took a brief road trip. The purpose was to get the polish, a cheese danish, a new house key, and then a de-caf Peppermint Mocha with whip from Starbucks.

The plan went awry.

We went the 22 miles to the next town and their Wally World was now out of Crackle, even though 5 nights ago they had about 40 bottles. I was pissed. I drove all that way for nothing. I was no upset I thought I might not be able to enjoy my Starbucks. I wondered back to the keys and found a Pink House Key with a Silver Tiara on it, surrounded by Silver Rhinestones. This was my dream key. And since Daddy-O and I keep locking ourselves out and Booknut has to keep unlocking the house for us, I decided to get a Pink Key cut for me and then hide the boring one.* I paid for my cut dream key** and left, still fuming over the nail polish.

Until I remembered there was a Meijer next door. And I went there. And they had about 40 bottles of Crackle polish, of which I purchased a silver one. And I got ASSORTED mini danishes, which are far superior to those plain cheese kind, AND I got a new travel mug covered in PINK HIGH HEELS!!! So, I accidentally shopped.

ITSam said only a girlie girl could accidentally shop, which led him to say I was such a girlie girl and that I took normal girl things to the next level. Now, I don't think that's quite fair. I'm not THAT girlie girlie, so I wrote and took my own "How Girlie Are you" Quiz, and I determined I'm just a perfect girlie girl. Here, you can take it your own-selves! Pick one answer per number:

1) a-If you've had a man in our own home or in our own apartment building come over for the soul purpose of killing a spider, give yourself 1 point.
b- If you had a man operate a motor vehicle to come over and kill your spider, give yourself 2 points
c- If you moved to get away from the spider, give yourself 3 points

2) a- If shopping is daily exercise, 2 points
b- If shopping is your hobby, 1 point
c- If you can name your favorite QVC hostess's dog's name, give yourself 3 points

3) a- If you have more than four shades of lipstick you wear on a weekly basis, 2 points
b- Less than four shades, 1 point

4) a- If you need to call someone to change your tire, 1 point
b- If you refuse to pump your own gasoline, 2 points

5) a- If you refuse to use a public bathroom unless it's located in a 5 star hotel, restaurant or in an exclusive department store, 2 points
b- If you'll pee indoors anywhere, 1 point
c- if you've used an outhouse or peed outside, subtract 1 point

6) a- if you have 5 or more pairs of shoes that have matching handbags, 2 points
b- if you have less than five, then 1 point
c- give yourself 1 more point if you own at least 10 pairs of shoes or 10 purses, even if they don't match each other! (Heaven forbid!)

7) a- if all of your jeans are designer or your don't own jeans, give yourself 2 points
b- take away a point if you're willing to leave the house in sweatpants

8) a- If you might say something like this "Drinking Water only grows in bottles and is called Evian" then give yourself 2 points
b- If you prefer bottle water but will drink tap water out of an act of desperation, give yourself 1 point

9) a- if you spend more than 20 minutes styling your hair (washing and blow dryer do not count in the allotted time period) each day, 2 points
b- if your hair is a fire hazard due to the amount of product you use, give yourself 3 points
c- if you can't remember your natural hair color, you get 4 points

10) a- if your favorite color is pink, 1 point
b- if you're asked your favorite color and you say a specific shade of pink, 2 points

11) a- if you dog fits in your handbag, you get 2 points
b- if your dog also has a stylist, give yourself 3 points
c- if using the pooper-scooper doesn't freak you out, then subtract 2 points

12) a- if your life long dream is to be Miss America or be on Project Runaway or be besties with Snookie, 2 points
b- if your default TV channel is CNN or the History channel, subtract 1 point

Bonus question: if your biggest problem with the Bill Clinton/ Monica Lewinsky scandal was that she would wear that blue dress in public, give yourself an extra 2 points

Now, add and subtract all your points. Results are as follows:
0-6 points= are you sure you don't have a penis?
7-25= Just Girlie enough!
26 or more= You rival Paris Hilton!

I had 14 points. So, see.... just perfect!

And I can't help it if I accidentally shopped. For nail polish and a shoe coffee mug. Things like that are just bound to happen to us all at some point in life...

pink lipsticky kisses,

* the boring one is silver and nice, but it's a plain silver, albeit sparkly, key.

** The stooopid girl working at the key cut took 2 tries to get it right and when I got home, it didn't work. I marched out to my own local Wally World and got my money back. Then I determinedly headed back to our local key cutter and it was closed for the night- because why would Wally World have someone cutting keys at 10:37pm on a Saturday night, right? The keys were located in the Automotive department, which was closed. Only "closed" meant a sign was set up that said "do not enter." Well, I entered, went to the key rack, found a replacement key, and went up front and paid for it- uncut. I am taking it to the locally owned and operated hardware store to see if they can cut they key in a capable fashion... this will be the third attempt.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

I have succumbed

I have decided to rededicate myself to blogging and even when I think I have nothing to say, I'm going to make you all suffer and write anyway.

And in an effort to help me with this process, I've started a Twitter account. Please follow me! I'd make the icon be linked to something so you could just click it to follow me but I'm not sure to what I should link it... what URL or code. So you can just click the sidebar. (Evil Pixie- you Twitter. How did you link your pix to your follow? Can you email me please, or leave directions in comments for my technology impaired self, please?)

Sometimes I'll Tweet (or is it twit?) just random observations, thoughts, and.... wait for it... potential blog ideas. About 2 or a million times a day I think of a great blog idea and then when I sit down to write it.... bam- it's gone! Sometimes those thoughts could translate into blog fodder and other times they could just be a Twit (Okay I have no idea if the lingo is correct but I'm totally using Twit because I like how it sounds!)

Also, if you Twitter, let me know your Twitter name and I'll follow you!

So, after a week of being gone, I know this is lame to just announce that suddenly I'm using Twitter, but that's the huge announcement for the week. Steve Jobs can retire, Facebook can re-tool itself (so appropriate since I think Zuckerberg is a tool), Obama can campaign for whatever he feels the need to campaign for, but the real news is that I now Twitter.

Oh, help us all!

Don't take my Twitter name in vain,
aka Maggie Mae O'Sullivan