And no, I didn't see Steph or Lulu lurking in the aisles, darn it! (And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I apologize because I try to never have an "inside joke" here unless it's among all my regular readers who are in on it but I couldn't help it this time, so just please keep reading!)Whilst speaking of Wally World, I need to confess something. I'm the crazy Wally World lady. You know the one: I push my cart up and down the rows, muttering under my breath, trying to read signs, glaring at other shoppers to get the hell outta my way, clutching my list. I also find myself talking to myself as well. And when I talk to myself, I don't do it quietly. I find I talk out loud to the point where people look at me or think I'm "blue toothing". But I'm not. I'm just the crazy lady at Wally World.
Like last night, for example, I bought a package of soup mix and it was printed on the packaging "0 transfat" and I said, "Well, Auntie, how do you like that? I'm being healthy by accident. So there! HA!" and I chucked it in my cart. And other people were looking at me.
I also stood looking at a pastry display of fall treats asking "Where the hell is the pumpkin roll? Damn it, where IS it?" People clutched their small children to their breasts and fled the area, while a brave bakery worker asked me if I need help. I'm happy to report there was no little white jacked in her hands.
As I walked passed the Junior clothing department, I said, "Oh gee, look, the latest and greatest in slut wear for the 12 year old set." When I got to the body soap aisle, I bitched because I couldn't find it and when I did, I said, "What's aqua scent? Where's original? I NEED original! Shit!" People were staring!
I think the topper was when I was picking boxes of Puffs. I bought the kind with Aloe but not the kind with menthol in it "because I don't like menthol cigarettes so why would I want it in my tissues?" I proclaimed this loudly and clearly. People were trying to hide from me at this point, I think.
No, I'm not on medication but maybe I should be. I hate going to Wally World alone- this could be part of the reason. And I have no idea when it started, this talking aloud to myself on a regular basis. I seem to only do it when I'm in Wally World- no where else. Either living in a small town is getting to me or a huge corporate conglomeration is sucking the soul out of me each time I cross the threshold.
Oh well, now, at least, I'll have the TASTYKAKES!
Losing my sanity at Wal-Mart,
Maggie Mae
12 comments:
OMG, Tastykake!!! What a blast from the past! My best bud in Iraq was a guy from PA. He used to get care packages full of tastykakes, and we'd trade Tastykakes for Tim Tams (an Australian icon - the most incredible chocolate cookies you can imagine). I loooove Tastykakes, and haven't had any since then.
Just hearing about them though brings back memories of the amazing friends I made over there - thanks!
No, you are not crazy. We all mutter when in Wally World. Usually its because we can't find what we are looking for because it isn't in the same place it was last week. I hate it when they move things around all the time.
Wiley- you are so welcome!
And I'm shocked they're real! I thought they were a fictional treat written about in a book series so to know they've been around longer than what I discovered last night.... WOW!!!!!!
And how do I go about getting me some of these Tim Tams of which you speak? that sounds delish!
One of my favorite things int he world are Mallowmars- the BEST cookie on Earth, and they don't sell them here in the Midwest- only on the East coast of the USA, or so I think. I miss and crave those suckers!
Curley- the bakery lady said the same thing! the pumpkin roll was on the front table (you've been to the same Wally World so you know what I mean) and when I asked where it was she told me that she thinks Wal-Mart moves stuff around to 1) confuse the customers and 2) to make sure the employees are really working and not wasting time since they have to know where to find everything.
I hate shopping there. I omitted the rant I had about being unable to find raisins or an employee to help me find raisins and came home sans-raisins.
I've never heard of Wally World but that may explain some things since I live near the Tasty Kake factory all of our stores sell them. I thought you found some special kind that was calorie free. Funny post! oxoxox
SC
Beth- Wally World is also known as Wal-Mart around these parts.
Actually I was home, sick, coughing up my left lung. Ugh!!
I would have gladly squealed and jumped for joy with you!!
Hecate- and how would I know that? Anyway, I hope you're feeling better soon! And send your hubby to get you some Tastykakes to help- they can't hurt!
I think raisins are in the fruit ailse about half way down on the south side or the left when facing the clothing. There are all the dried fruit there.
Curley- I checked dried fruit, fresh fruit, and the cake mix section. Couldn't find any. I also checked near jams and jellies, and near cereals. Still no luck. Screw raisins- we can eat oatmeal cookies without the fucking raisins.
I will trade you some Tim Tams for Tastykakes... drop me an email and we can discuss the logistics :)
OMG, you're right. I'm telling hubby to stop after work to get me some Tastykakes to go with the wonderful drugs my doctor gave me. LOL
Wiley- be watching for an email from me... we have got to figure this out! ;)
Hecate- i always have said "better living through chemicals and junk food" see you can live by it too! Feel better soon! (have him look for the 2 other flavors- peanutbutter dipped in chocolate cakes AND cinnamon coffeecakes with filling...OMG- I wanted them all!)
Post a Comment